Matt: Who does the illustrations for your columns? How about a little background on his scene. He is good! — Mort Schwartz, Sr., Leucadia

I guess some discreet horn-tooting won’t hurt. We sure have gotten a lot of comments lately on Mr. Geary’s work. Rick’s a grad of the University of Kansas at Lawrence, and in his 25-plus-year career his work’s frequently been in the New York Times Book Review, Mad, Spy, Rolling Stone, Pulse, and, regularly for 13 years, the National Lampoon. His comic stories are published by Heavy Metal, DC Comics, Dark Horse, and Marvel Entertainment. Then there’s the list of Southern California papers and magazines, the book publishers, big-name advertisers (Coke, Campbell’s Soup), several graphic novels, foreign translations.... You get the drift. I’ve got to stop. The head research elf is pouting and wants equal time.

Didja cancel that Memorial Day Jet Ski trip to the Colorado River to work on your contest submission? Then I guess you just forgot to mail it in.... We’re serious about this “Matt for a Day” thing. Give us up to 150 or 200 words to answer one of the following and you could end up in print. Cleverly shoveled B.S. is nearly as good as the truth. Question #1: There is a champagne glass in downtown San Diego that is as tall as a building, but it’s not as visible as it used to be. Where is it, exactly? — Patrick Lockwood, San Diego. Question #2: I’m amazed at the phenomenal percentage of left-handed people in San Diego! Can you tell me the actual percentage and how we compare to other cities in the U.S.? — Feeling Left Out, San Diego.