Photo by Rick Geary

The water you saw arcing from each side of the tug was from the firehoses.

Dear Matthew (The Wise One) Alice: I recently saw a tugboat hauling a large ship through the bay. It had a large amount of water streaming out of both sides, up into the air, like it had two large leaks. The tug, not the ship. I don't think it was trying to save itself from sinking, but what was it doing? — Cindy Hopkins, somewhere

Sorry, Cindy. I was so taken by the elaborate illustration at the bottom of your letter, I guess I lost your address. The drawing was thoughtfully provided just in case my stunted imagination couldn’t reconstruct the scene from the verbal description. And it was labeled “Visual Aid," in case I couldn’t make the connection between the drawing and the letter. But if I’m correct in my description (visual aid provided by the eminent Mr. Rick Geary), Cindy has included a detail in her drawing (a tow rope) that did not appear in the original scene. Not having been there — though I can almost smell the tang of salt air from the expressiveness of Cindy’s artistry (“Tug at Sunset,” mixed media: lazerprint and ballpoint pen on I6 pound bond, 8-1/2 x 11, unframed, $150), I’ll have to guess that the tug was merely escorting, not towing, a Navy ship back into port from, maybe, a deployment in the Pacific. Navy-contracted tugs must be equipped with firefighting capabilities, and the water you saw arcing from each side of the tug was from the firehoses. It’s a kind of welcome home salute, that’s all. You’ve probably seen it a hundred times but it just didn’t register until now. Your nice drawing will be added to the Matthew Alice Museum of Phone Doodles and Visual Aids, a quaint gallery dedicated to a sadly neglected area of folk art.