"Keep your hands off...Private Property!" --Judas Priest from "Private Property" on TURBO.

In my travels, I often see what happens when the voices of fanatics and zealots run roughshod over softer voices...such as reason. From those whom are not too thrilled about Obama being our Prez; to those who cannot fathom that there are no laws on the books that forbid the eating of meat; to those who want to do away with the Bill Of Rights (in the Name of Jesus)? You run into them every day.

For the life of me, I cannot understand how this comes about. However, the most dangerous places seems to be not between a mom and her kids...but between a fanatic and the press. For fanaticism lives on press releases and televised sound bites, and would starve horribly if ignored.

Take, for example, PeTA's campaign against Kentucky Fried Chicken. A lot of times, you would see these folks standing outside of a "Col. Cluck's Chicken Emporium" and wave their signs, make loud noises--and get flipped the dirty birdie by motorists in passing cars.

Now, I can think of many reasons to foreswear such a place. Their chicken is overly high in sodium content, is pressure-cooked rather than fried, and the side ingredients seem more fitting to feed to sumo wrestlers than you average Joe-And-Jane (because of the higher-than-hell fat content of most of the side items).

If I were the Governor of the Commonwealth of Kentucky, I would revoke Harlan Sanders' commission as a Colonel posthaste! But, that's just me...and besides, I can make REAL Southern-Fried Chicken at home that not only costs less, but tastes a helluva lot better, to boot!

However, it's not the quality of the food served at KFC that has PeTA all hot-and-sticky. Nor is it their stated claim about how KFC's suppliers are keeping their birds in little cages. No, my dears, it's the fact that KFC sells cooked chicken dishes in the first place. If it suited their needs, they would protest outside of Stuart Anderson's, Donovan's of La Jolla, Ruth's Chris, Mickey D's, Pizza Hut, Subway...any place that would not only get their message across, but bring in major press coverage, to boot!

For like I said before...press coverage is to zealots and fanatics what harbor seals are to Great White Sharks--FOOD! So it is with PeTA, so it also is with Operation: Rescue, WAR, Earth First!, and the masses that protest outside of every G-8 and World Bank meeting every year.

There is nothing that needs to be done about this...not only is it covered under freedom of speech, but also under the right to peaceably assemble and petition the Government for a redress of grievences. However, my view is to treat them as you would sheep--just let them bleat to their heart's content.

They'll get the attention they desire...the wrong kind, as every comedian worth their schtick goes into a feeding frenzy over this material! Ridicule has long been the antidote for zealotry and fanaticism...nobody likes getting their ideas torched, much less their causes! And having folks go into deep belly laughs cuts even worse!

"Payback's a Medevac!" as my pop used to say. When it comes to fanatics, payback is a comic carving up your ideas in a comedy club. Bigger payback is Carlos Mencia or Robin Williams doing it on HBO or Comedy Central!

Just something to ponder on a Sunday morning! --Robbiebear

More like this:


SDaniels Sept. 21, 2009 @ 12:35 a.m.

"However, it's not the quality of the food served at KFC that has PeTA all hot-and-sticky. Nor is it their stated claim about how KFC's suppliers are keeping their birds in little cages."

Not true:

PeTa and other groups detest KFC foremost for the inhumane and torturous treatment of the birds. This corporation is not alone in its practices; other fast food places and grocery stores purchase meat from factory farms that use should-be-illegal if not illegal methods of raising and slaughtering animals. The reason KFC gets so much flack is because it serves a LOT of inhumanely-kept-and-slaughtered chicken, its animal product of focus.


CuddleFish Sept. 21, 2009 @ 2:13 a.m.

I think Robbiebear's point is that PETA's ultimate agenda is to get people not to eat meat at all, pointing out the inhumane treatment of chickens is merely a way of getting there. But I will let him speak for himself.


Robert Johnston Sept. 21, 2009 @ 10:16 a.m.

SDaniels and Fish: I thank you kindly for your comments.

SDaniels--I appeciate the input on why KFC is #1 on PeTA's "Doo-Doo List" (and Boy Howdy, do they deserve getting the crud slung at them)(since The Reader doesn't allow cuss-words in their blogs, I have to improvise). My point, however, is that there are far more targets of opportunity than just KFC...which is why I listed the places I did to begin with. Go for one--go for broke!

Fish--Good insight. However, PeTA vs KFC is merely one of my points. My main point is that even though we might detest folks like PeTA (btw, check out their letterhead and logo, and you'll see why I'm using the spelling I am), there are ways to deal with them that do not include bullets, bloodshed, or prison time.

For dealing with zealots of any stripe, nobody beat George Carlin, and Carlos Mencia carries on today (as does Robin Williams) with the tradition of deflating the egos of any zealot who crosses their path.

Sounding good--let's have some more! --Robbiebear


Josh Board Sept. 21, 2009 @ 4:18 p.m.

Interesting blog. Good read.

There was a story in Time magazine that explains zealots and conspiracy theorists pretty well. And basically, they are a lot worse in this day and age of computers. Because, instead of finding the facts on an issue they are curious about, they INSTEAD just seek out people that think the way they do, to re-enforce their beliefs (no matter how insane those beliefs may be).

Can someone find out what KFC puts in their chicken that makes you crave it nightly? (I borrowed that line from a Mike Myers movie)


Robert Johnston Sept. 22, 2009 @ 6:42 p.m.

Hey, Josh! Thanks for the kind words! You are correct, with the Internet, those who spread vitriol can now do so withour fear of retribution, in the form of going to Fist City for a well-deserved and bloody attitude adjustment!

And as for that secret ingredient that KFC put in their chicken batter to induce cravings? As my Home Ec teacher at Lemoore High School told us during class (thank you, Frau Kolewyne): "It's like the ingredients of a typical school lunch--the less you know, the better it is." --Robbiebear


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