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The Abnormal Width of Normal Heights

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Entries

Community Blog

Love Song of the Late Blooming Fools

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Once I had a clue/ About this life & you/ I thought eventually/ That there would surely be/ A fairy tale version/ Of crazy you & me./ But never is too long/ & forever is no song/ We are leaves/ ...

Community Blog

Discount Doublespeak, er, Double-Check & 50% More Crap, er, Cash!

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There are two commercial advertising campaigns currently as hot as any others on what were formerly the free American television airwaves, but which are now mostly the costly private property of cable monarchs, among them some pasty guy who is, ...

Community Blog

pennies, people, nickels, humans, change

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seasons colors clothing hair habits choices appearances realities weeks years loves likes scenery faces time places everything anything we they desire people progress minds bodies…

Community Blog

The Currency of Current Seas

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What is money? My car. And sex. And? Feelings of discomfort and anguish. Is that all? Bottlecaps. And maybe thumb-tacks. All correct, my dear. You are truly wise. I’m not really a genius or anything. Let’s not get carried away. ...

Community Blog

The K is Silent

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you are a simple, elegant sentence: “she is quiet, smart and patient.” verbs may evade you, but adjectives do not: loving, tolerant, enduring, steady, lovely. lovely. my love. you are. there is a verb. paragraphs cannot capture you, nor even ...

Community Blog

I Am Not A Farmer

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tomatoes are not vine for me, they wither like commie raisins in revolt; my thumb is not green, it is a city shade of soot & a pinkie to boot. i put plants in the ground like the undertaker puts ...

Community Blog

I Should Try to Like Beer

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I’m on my back in the middle of the street. I can smell the shit on the asphalt. My palm feels raw as a shredded radish; The asphalt shit is ground into my blood, I think, & it will give ...

Community Blog

Another Song w/o Music

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(LYRICIST'S/AUTHOR'S NOTE: Forgive the silence, if anyone is out there, I don't know where I've been. Lost in the summer fog of the northern San Francisco peninsula. Story or stories to come soon, or late, or whenever they are ready ...

Community Blog

The Ballad of BeFree (but not really a ballad)

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(Lyricist's note: these lyrics accompany the story "A Typo of a Peculiar Type." Also, I can neither sing nor play an instrument, and generally I am about as musical as a Winnebago, so you will have to conjure, or imagine, ...

Community Blog

All My Heads Come Back To Me (short fiction)

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They say I should do the interview with the television lady. That it will help humanize the job, and thus the Law. I don’t know why. It is as human as anything else, whether I comment on it or not, ...

Community Blog

A Typo of a Peculiar Type (part 3, conclusion)

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I stared at those bottles of vodka and tequila and bourbon for what could’ve been ten minutes. The tequila was good, too. Patron Silver. But I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to be drunk for this woman. If getting ...

Community Blog

A Typo of a Peculiar Type (part 2)

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To my dismay, I was only able to cruise I-5 in re-energized contentment for several minutes, before what had been fairly smooth sailing turned into a barely moving jam. Big rigs lined the right lane as far as I could ...

Community Blog

A Typo of a Peculiar Type (part 1)

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Instead of typing “Ashland” into the search engine box (Ashland as in Oregon), I had mistakenly entered “Assland.” This may have been, at that moment, merely a small clerical error, but it would forever alter the course of my existence. ...

Community Blog

Renting Annie (a short story)

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My husband, Scott, is a financial genius. Not because he’s made us millions, but merely because he’s made us a thousand so far. And that’s enough to keep us happy. At least for another few months here in La Mesa. ...

Community Blog

Homeless Alien Kept a Diary (a short story)

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(Editor’s Note: all surviving pages from this diary were found by nine year-old Jiffy Krondinkle of Prairie Doom, Oklahoma, and they appear here with the permission of Jiffy’s parents, Kinky and Darfinia. Though their names might suggest that the Krondinkles ...

Community Blog

A Kingdom No Longer Magic (a short story)

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I was censoring boobs for The Mouse. Seems like something they would’ve had to hire someone for back in the less uptight 70’s or 60’s, or the insane 2000’s, not the Reagancrap preppy 80’s. But they didn’t have cameras on ...

Community Blog

Brassturbation: Tooting one's own horn

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Got my OccupySF piece in the SF/Bay Guardian. Always nice to get a byline. And here's a photo link. Forgive the sloppy way they kind of threw it up online, what can I say. I should be back with something ...

Community Blog

When Occupy SF Occupied My Car

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I began the week a brooding and self-pitying writer, who was spending far too much time sucking on sour grapes until they were bitter raisins. I even went back and forth via email with an editor who had rejected one ...

Community Blog

Government Salami (a short story)

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Mrs. Marti Brewer-Bodner, Deputy Undersecretary, U.S. Dept. of Education I have already cried, three hours worth alone here in my office on Maryland Avenue. I have an unobstructed view of the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space Museum across the street, ...

Community Blog

$0 to $10,000 Faster Than Jesus

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(NOTE: Since the writing of this piece, the government has amended their indictment, accusing FullTilt, many of whose players still haven't gotten their money back, of being a "global ponzi scheme." Renowned players and FullTilt principles Howard Lederer, whose father ...

Archive by year

2010 2011 2012

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer News — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
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