i'm sad lil sister

and hope is turning


obnoxiously finding it's way

down the never to be reclaimed drain

the last eight months of relative safety

swept away by your obsessive compulsive reality

of course it'll work

tho it has NEVER worked before

not a year ago

or 2 years ago

not 3 years ago

or four

as your deceptive inner self tells you

your medication is poison

while you stand on street corners

screaming out to the aliens to come now

and save our political system

to become our guardian angels

but not the Jews

who are unsullied when you're sane

not that hated tribe

only thought of that way

when you're out of your rabbit assed mind

helpless is the way we all feel

your children and me

so i must turn away again

and lose my lil sister

to the devil in disguise

the dreaded delusional mind


More like this:


Mindy Ross June 21, 2011 @ 12:12 a.m.

Mental illness is a very difficult problem for a family to deal with. My daughter is a self mutilator and has more than 50 scars on her left arm. She frequently threatens suicide and comes up with stories about being robbed, raped, and harrassed by gang members that seem to extraordinary to be true. I'm 52 and have never had those things happen to me, so how could they have all happened to her by the age of 20?

I guess the only answer is to let go. You have no other choice. Destroying ourselves won't help our loved ones a bit.


nan shartel June 21, 2011 @ 10:36 a.m.

thx for ur wisdom Mindy... detachment is hard 2


Altius June 21, 2011 @ 10:44 a.m.

Powerful, vivid poem.

But should "unsullied when your sane" be unsullied when YOU'RE sane" ?


nan shartel June 22, 2011 @ 3:18 a.m.

u r correct Altius...i'll fix it

thx for the input ;-D


quillpena June 21, 2011 @ 12:39 p.m.

Good poem, nan, and poignant too. It's so difficult to watch our loved ones slip away. One of my brothers was hooked on meth for years. He finally straightened his ass out, moved to Utah, and became a Mormon. Last summer he even got full custody of his 12-year-old daughter. He and she are both very happy now, and I couldn't be happier for them. And even after all the meth he did, he still has all of his teeth.


nan shartel June 22, 2011 @ 3:23 a.m.

thx Quill...it is difficult

my sis has been ill since she was 22yrs old

a long long time for she and her family to wrestle with the demons

congrats to ur brother..given enough time and resoluteness all addictions can be conquered



clbilbray June 23, 2011 @ 11:21 a.m.

Aunt Nan....I know you feel the same pain as I do. This poem brought tears to my eyes.


nan shartel June 23, 2011 @ 12:03 p.m.

i wish i had better news hunnypot....ur mom's illness made me forever question GOD in the human equation

because God does make mistakes where Schizophrenia is concerned ;-(

it's like a bomb coded into the brain to explode between 18 and 22 years of age and after that the pain never stops

i love u ;-D


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