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Swallowed by the stage

From the Stage Can Be Strange files:

Roni Lee (Venus & the Razorblades): “In November 2011 I opened for Missing Persons. Dale Bozzio got very ill after their third song. Her back-up band jammed on a blues tune for a few minutes then, when they realized she wasn’t coming back, just sort of looked at each other like...? I was on the side of the stage and asked if I could be of any help. They said do you know the lyrics to “Walkin’ in L.A.”? I said, "Kinda," after jumping onstage. My friend Nick handed me a cell phone where he had googled the lyrics and we "Walked in L.A." as well as singing a few other tunes — we finished the night with a bang! Not one ticket refund! Always be ready for anything in Rock n Roll…”

Joey Harris (Beat Farmers): “I was onstage with the Beat Farmers at 1st Avenue in Minneapolis and we were kicking ass and taking names. I had just played some kinda hot-shit guitar solo and walked backwards out of the spotlight to cue the light man to hit Jerry Raney for his solo. For some reason there was a ten-inch square hole cut into the stage, and as I walked backwards I found the hole with my right cowboy boot. My foot and my leg went straight down the hole and only stopped at my crotch. I was stuck, clutching my guitar, left leg pointing straight out in front of me, right leg swallowed by the stage. I remember it took a while for our roadie to see my predicament and he sort of rolled his eyes and sauntered around the backline, taking his time to come rescue me. As if he was thinking, Bloody Joey. Always fu!!in' around.

Michael Head (Country Rockin’ Rebels): “Once, while playing a local street fair, a female fan walked up the backstage steps mid-song, picked up my back-up guitar, and posed with it as her boyfriend took a picture. I didn't even see her, I just saw the horrified faces of the crowd and turned around as she calmly placed my guitar back in its stand and walked away.”

Michael Tiernan: “At a seated Belly Up show, I was playing my softest, most heartfelt song of the set...and it happened to be on a Sunday with playoff football going on. During the most intimate part of the tune, the crowd was silent, tuning into the vibe of the song — everyone except for a crowd of dudes watching the football game at the bar. At the softest point of the song, the Chargers scored and these dudes let up this super-loud cheer and soon realized everyone was looking at them with major stink eye. Awkward for me, awkward for them.”

Happy Ron Hill: “Believe it or not, the poetry open mics are the most borderline violent in my experience. Both of the times I really thought people were going to come to blows were at poetry open mics. At one in L.A. last year, this "poet" started bad-mouthing this other "poet" who was onstage and wouldn't let him finish a sentence of his poem without commenting on it, the host asked the guy to leave and he rushed the stage. I thought he was going to punch somebody. I'm thinking to myself, Dudes, you just wrote those poems out in the parking lot — they are nothing to fight about.

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From the Stage Can Be Strange files:

Roni Lee (Venus & the Razorblades): “In November 2011 I opened for Missing Persons. Dale Bozzio got very ill after their third song. Her back-up band jammed on a blues tune for a few minutes then, when they realized she wasn’t coming back, just sort of looked at each other like...? I was on the side of the stage and asked if I could be of any help. They said do you know the lyrics to “Walkin’ in L.A.”? I said, "Kinda," after jumping onstage. My friend Nick handed me a cell phone where he had googled the lyrics and we "Walked in L.A." as well as singing a few other tunes — we finished the night with a bang! Not one ticket refund! Always be ready for anything in Rock n Roll…”

Joey Harris (Beat Farmers): “I was onstage with the Beat Farmers at 1st Avenue in Minneapolis and we were kicking ass and taking names. I had just played some kinda hot-shit guitar solo and walked backwards out of the spotlight to cue the light man to hit Jerry Raney for his solo. For some reason there was a ten-inch square hole cut into the stage, and as I walked backwards I found the hole with my right cowboy boot. My foot and my leg went straight down the hole and only stopped at my crotch. I was stuck, clutching my guitar, left leg pointing straight out in front of me, right leg swallowed by the stage. I remember it took a while for our roadie to see my predicament and he sort of rolled his eyes and sauntered around the backline, taking his time to come rescue me. As if he was thinking, Bloody Joey. Always fu!!in' around.

Michael Head (Country Rockin’ Rebels): “Once, while playing a local street fair, a female fan walked up the backstage steps mid-song, picked up my back-up guitar, and posed with it as her boyfriend took a picture. I didn't even see her, I just saw the horrified faces of the crowd and turned around as she calmly placed my guitar back in its stand and walked away.”

Michael Tiernan: “At a seated Belly Up show, I was playing my softest, most heartfelt song of the set...and it happened to be on a Sunday with playoff football going on. During the most intimate part of the tune, the crowd was silent, tuning into the vibe of the song — everyone except for a crowd of dudes watching the football game at the bar. At the softest point of the song, the Chargers scored and these dudes let up this super-loud cheer and soon realized everyone was looking at them with major stink eye. Awkward for me, awkward for them.”

Happy Ron Hill: “Believe it or not, the poetry open mics are the most borderline violent in my experience. Both of the times I really thought people were going to come to blows were at poetry open mics. At one in L.A. last year, this "poet" started bad-mouthing this other "poet" who was onstage and wouldn't let him finish a sentence of his poem without commenting on it, the host asked the guy to leave and he rushed the stage. I thought he was going to punch somebody. I'm thinking to myself, Dudes, you just wrote those poems out in the parking lot — they are nothing to fight about.

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