I was all set to write about the two idiot celebrities in the news, and then former El Cajon resident Tawny Kitaen throws me off by getting popped for a DUI. I have to mention her, because she was recently on Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab.

Speaking of idiots, does Dr. Drew (who doesn’t seem all that smart on his syndicated radio show “Love Line”) ever help anyone? Or does he just exploit them?

But the first idiot I wanted to talk about, was Randy Quaid. He and his wife stayed at some ritzy hotel and left after a week. And after chalking up $11,000 in bills. I know that sounds like a lot, but if you just drink a few of the things in that fridge they have, and order room service once or twice…I can see it getting up there.

I heard someone ask if Quaid did this just for the publicity. And you see his mug shot, with the huge white beard and smile, you wonder. I just think he’s one of those guys that is so used to getting things for free because he’s an actor, that when he doesn’t, he feels it’s okay to steal.

I remember when Brokeback Mountain was making money and getting Oscar buzz, he sued them for $10 million, saying the filmmakers had him work for less money, with promises of more if the film did well. At the time, I had trouble buying that.

I’ve heard of actors working below what they usually make for an indie film or whatever. I just didn’t think the filmmakers would’ve made a deal like that for him. There are a lot of oafs they could’ve cast for that part. And he was good in the role, as he is in most of his films (my favorites are Quick Change with Bill Murray, The Last Detail with Jack Nicholson, and Of Mice and Men; guess which character he played in that?)

But the biggest celeb in the news is film director Roman Polanski. I always found him to be overrated. Sure, Chinatown is a classic. As is Rosemary’s Baby. But most of his other films are garbage.

Anyway…it’s strange listening to people debate whether or not Polanski should do jail time. Even after I saw the documentary on him last year…which leans heavily towards making you have sympathy for him (he made it out of a concentration camp that killed his parents, his wife was a pregnant Sharon Tate, killed by the Manson family, and the judge in the case lied to him).

It doesn’t change the facts, which are that at Jack Nicholsons house, he lured a 13-year-old girl over there saying he wanted to do a photo shoot with her. He drugged her (alcoholic) drink, and forced himself on her (that was my nice way of saying he sodomized her).

The greatest thing was listening to that dope Whoopi Goldberg this morning trying to defend him and getting so angry. When someone else on The View said “Would you want your 13-year-old having sex?” She responded with “It depends.”

Really? On what?

And she brought up the same argument others have. That this 13-year-old girl is now middle-aged, and doesn’t think anything should happen to him. Well, you know what? Who cares what she thinks? There are women beaten by their husbands that don’t think anything should happen to them. And, if we let kids start deciding the fate of abusers, where would be? Some rich guy would pay an 8-year-old to state that she said it was okay for the old guy to do what he did to her.

I sure hope the judge that handles this doesn’t just slap him on the wrist. I’d like to see something come down where they give him eight years. The judge can take off four years for the previous judge messing things up. And then he’ll get out in a couple years for good behavior.

Well, unless he drugs the drink of his cellmate.