I turned on my computer, and a story popped up about Metallica singer James Hetfield checking into a hospital for "dehydration." It's funny that musicians always suffer from that and "exhaustion." Yet, you never hear about a guy working for SDG&E in the summer, or some construction worker, just collapsing from these conditions.

Sure, I read once that Mick Jagger had a pedometer on, and that showed he ran almost five miles in each concert; going from one end of the stage to the other. Sure, he and the other Stones look like they've died. But they never go to the hospital for "exhaustion."

Metallica is an awful band. And so many of my friends that like the same rock 'n roll as me, dig these guys. I have no clue as to why.

I remember working at a radio station when their most popular record came out (with that horrible tune "Enter Sandman"). Some of their hardcore fans would call and say that the new songs weren't "as good as the old stuff." Is this just a mantra all stupid fans of a band say? I'll bet those same Metallica fans now love that record. They just couldn't admit that at the time, because it "wasn't cool."

I read that Peter Tork of the Monkees, has tongue cancer. The only other person I ever heard of getting that, was guitarist Eddie Van Halen. He went on to continue touring.

I won't be so bummed if The Monkees never make music again.

Along with disliking Metallica, the Monkees are another band that never did it for me. The songs just weren't catchy.

Okay, Steppin Stone is great. But everything else they did was crap.

I saw the other day, that Michael Jackson announced he was doing a series of shows in London. He says these will be the last ones before he retires. And, a few things popped into my mind.

First, they probably aren't his last shows. If he continues to have money problems, he'll be doing more concerts. I also wondered about his nose. He always covers it with that surgical mask. He should've thought about doing that when the surgeon went in to carve the thing up. He could've put a mask over it and kept them from doing all that damage.

I remembered him wanting to buy the elephant mans bones at one time, and it got me thinking. If he wants to cover up that little nub he calls a nose, why not just get an elephant trunk? Aside from it being a cool stage prop (I mean, is a trunk swinging from his face any goofier than his Sgt. Pepper jackets and sequined glove?). And after the concerts, I'm sure more little kids would be into the elephant trunk. They seem to love being at petting zoos with animals. They'd be all over that thing (on a side note: remember being forced into the petting zoo as a kid? a goat would charge you, and it was scarey as hell; your mom thought you were having fun, as she's snapping Polaroids. you were just trying to survive).