I went to a Padres game last weekend. My first game in about a year and a half. It's strange, because I go to so many concerts, that I had to make a comparison on the crowds (and this isn't going to be a funny bit, the way George Carlin does comparing baseball to football).

At the Padre game, the crowd around me was generally quiet. Which it didn't need to be. It's baseball. We could complain about Hoffman not looking good. Or the lemonade and nachos being good. Or the idiot a few rows up with the Dodgers cap that's had too many beers.

Instead, everyone was quiet.

When my stepbrother told a story about a debate he had with dad, because the guy in front of us climbed over the seats (instead of making the people near him stand up and move), the people in front of us then joined in our conversation. All of us agreeing it's a nicer move to climb over seats then to make people in your row stand up. Although I could see my step dads point, that having someone put a dirty shoe where a person is going to be sitting, can be considered rude.

Anyway, I would've loved this quiet crowd to have been with me at the House of Blues when Greg Laswell played a show there with Ingrid Michaelson the other night.

Laswell told me he'd put me on the guest list. Since he flaked out on that, my buddy and I spent $20 each on tickets. Yet, the two chicks on each side of me wouldn't shut up during his entire set. I never thought there'd be a time in my life I wouldn't want to be surrounded by women. This was one of them. The two on my right wouldn't shut up about their drinks, and how good they were. How strong they were. How great the bartender was. Well...go up and talk to the bartender then, and let me hear the damn show!

After Laswell finished his set and Ingrid came on, it was the guy behind me and two girls with him, that wouldn't shut up. I kept looking at them, as did my friend. They would stop talking briefly, then they'd continue. And it was loud. I could tell the guy was drunk, so I didn't get into it with him. Plus, as my friend pointed out...there's no real etiquette at concerts. At movies, yes.

Usually, I tell people to be quiet. But when I did that at Suzanne Vega, these three women went off on me (sort of). I wasn't in the mood to get in it with this guy, over a singer I really didn't care much about.

When I've seen Stan Ridgway (Wall of Voodoo), a few times he's had to tell the crowd to shut up. One time he said, "Look, if you want to talk, go out in the smoking area and have your conversation. I'm trying to perform songs up here." That usually works. And, one of the times he said it, those same people we had told to shut up earlier, and it didn't work. I guess you need a microphone.

I'm assuming security wouldn't throw someone out, either. Imagine going up to them saying, "Yes, excuse me. But, these people won't stop talking. And I'm trying to listen to the show. Could you kindly 86 them?"

I recently interviewed Jethro Tull singer Ian Anderson. And, I was bringing up something I read from an interview 25 years ago, about how he hated American audiences cheering and hooting during these accoustic sections of certain songs like Aqualung. He wanted them to be quieter during those parts. He then went off for 15 minutes on how American audiences were the worst, and how they think they're at hockey games. And, all I could do was agree.

I've decided that the next time I go to see live music, and someone near me isn't going to be quiet...I'm going to ask them nicely, ONCE to please keep it down. Although, for some reason, people get confrontational with that request. I'm not sure why.

If I have to ask again, I'm either going to do it by screaming at the top of my lungs, using every George Carlin curse word in the book, and being ready to start swinging my fists if anybody in their party even remotely makes a move like they are. Or, I'm going to simply stare at them. Not that stare where they know they are being rude, they stop talking, and then I stop staring. No. I will continue to stare. I will stare, until they have to uncomfortably say, "Uh...can I help you?" To which I'll say, "Well, since you won't stop talking, I'm assuming you're the one I paid to watch perform." I'll continue staring at them for another 10 or 20 seconds after I say that, to let it sort of sink in. And make them wonder, if I'm going to be this nut job that is going to do that for an entire concert, and is going to make them have to move. Because, really, why should I have to move? And that would do no good. Idiots are talking all over the venue.

At which point you might be saying that I shouldn't complain, if it's happening all over the venue. Oh no, that's where you're wrong. Everyone doing it is a complete idiot.

Seeing live music, doesn't mean you are there to just drink and party, which I think many of the people in the audience think.

I understand there's a weird dynamic. In the movie Ghost World, when Steve Buscemi's character goes to see some blues legend he loves, at a little bowling alley bar, and people are in there that don't even know who he is. And he's clutching an old 78 of the guy, trying to listen as people talk, that didn't even pay the cover.

Seriously, though. If you are just there because you're on a date, and your girlfriend likes the singer. Okay, well, that's enough reason there to be quiet. So she can hear.

Or if somebody comped you the tickets and you didn't pay. Okay, fine. You got in free. I once had 3rd row seats to REM, because a friend broke up with a girl he was going to take and gave me the ticket for free. I hate the group. But you know what? I didn't talk. I stood there, wishing I was anywhere else. I actually liked a few songs. And that was that. I didn't disrupt things.

It's different if you go see The Rolling Stones. You're going for some big stadium event. It's loud. We expect the person next to you to say "Can you believe Keith Richards is still alive?" Or "Mick Jagger is in such good shape. But then, look how much he runs around." You didn't go to hear "Satisfaction" and "Gimmie Shelter". Heck, they don't even sound good performed live. You went for the "event." You went so you could tell your grandkids you saw the Stones. So go ahead, talk at that show.

But accoustic shows, at the smaller venues around town. Have some respect, people. Not just for the fans trying to listen, but for the musicians on stage.