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Only Women Bleed -- A Lady Stabs Herself

I always liked that Alice Cooper song (nicely covered by Helen Reddy, too). He once said in an interview that it came out the same year as McCartney's "My Love", and his song was banned. Sir Paul's wasn't (even though McCartney is saying his love "does it good"...and Coopers song is a ballad about women with broken hearts).

But I'm not blogging about Alice Cooper today. It's about something much scarier. Women stabbing themselves.

Now, I haven't done any research, but I'm guessing women stab themselves 75% more often than men.

I'm not talking about killing yourself by slitting your wrists. I'm talking about some ol' hari kari style, plunging the knife in your heart, or stomach. Or cutting your own throat.

I remember reading a story once about a woman on LSD that stabbed herself.

And last year in Taiwan, a woman walked into a hardware store and asked to buy a knife. She then stabbed herself in the heart. When it didn't kill her immediately, she plunged it in a few more times.

I'm guessing she didn't pay for the knife first.

I recall reading about a woman in Japan that stabbed her son and than stabbed herself. Although, men and women that are nuts probably do that on an equal basis.

On a more humorous note...a woman stabbed herself the other day. She claimed a man jumped out of the woods while she was walking her dog at 3:00 a.m.

Your first red flag should pop up when someone says they were walking a dog at three in the morning.

I do give her credit for not saying the attacker was a minority (that usually seems to be what these liars say).

The police investigated, and claim she stabbed herself in the stomach. Now, I'm wondering if she really had her dog out with her. Because, dogs will defend you. But if a person just starts stabbing themselves, poor little Fido is probably confused as hell. He's wondering if he should jump on your right arm to try to stop you...

Now, here's the best part. The woman stabbed herself to get out of a court appearance.

I'm not sure why if that was her intent, she didn't just nick herself with the blade. She could've just scrapped her arm with the knife, drawing a little blood.

Oh wait...did I say "here's the best part"? Sorry, that was the second best part. This here, is the best part.

Her court appearance was related to a shop lifting charge. And, the knife was one of the things she was accused of stealing.

It just doesn't come full circle for idiots more than that case did.

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I always liked that Alice Cooper song (nicely covered by Helen Reddy, too). He once said in an interview that it came out the same year as McCartney's "My Love", and his song was banned. Sir Paul's wasn't (even though McCartney is saying his love "does it good"...and Coopers song is a ballad about women with broken hearts).

But I'm not blogging about Alice Cooper today. It's about something much scarier. Women stabbing themselves.

Now, I haven't done any research, but I'm guessing women stab themselves 75% more often than men.

I'm not talking about killing yourself by slitting your wrists. I'm talking about some ol' hari kari style, plunging the knife in your heart, or stomach. Or cutting your own throat.

I remember reading a story once about a woman on LSD that stabbed herself.

And last year in Taiwan, a woman walked into a hardware store and asked to buy a knife. She then stabbed herself in the heart. When it didn't kill her immediately, she plunged it in a few more times.

I'm guessing she didn't pay for the knife first.

I recall reading about a woman in Japan that stabbed her son and than stabbed herself. Although, men and women that are nuts probably do that on an equal basis.

On a more humorous note...a woman stabbed herself the other day. She claimed a man jumped out of the woods while she was walking her dog at 3:00 a.m.

Your first red flag should pop up when someone says they were walking a dog at three in the morning.

I do give her credit for not saying the attacker was a minority (that usually seems to be what these liars say).

The police investigated, and claim she stabbed herself in the stomach. Now, I'm wondering if she really had her dog out with her. Because, dogs will defend you. But if a person just starts stabbing themselves, poor little Fido is probably confused as hell. He's wondering if he should jump on your right arm to try to stop you...

Now, here's the best part. The woman stabbed herself to get out of a court appearance.

I'm not sure why if that was her intent, she didn't just nick herself with the blade. She could've just scrapped her arm with the knife, drawing a little blood.

Oh wait...did I say "here's the best part"? Sorry, that was the second best part. This here, is the best part.

Her court appearance was related to a shop lifting charge. And, the knife was one of the things she was accused of stealing.

It just doesn't come full circle for idiots more than that case did.

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Comments
9

Oh dear God, well it may it please the jury that this woman is much too afraid of pain to stab herself. I hate knives, I'm too clumsy as it is. Perhaps thats why are 75% more likely to stab themselves.

Dec. 16, 2008

"Only Tammy Wynette and Alice Cooper know how hard it is to be a woman."

 --A.C.
Dec. 16, 2008

I've got a new blog for you. Did you hear about the crazy American (as usual) parents who named their wee boy adolf hitler campbell? How selfish and cruel can you get? That wee lad will grow up to be so bullied.

Dec. 17, 2008

That lad may grow up to be bullied. Or, he may run the entire playground! He'll send hundreds and hundreds of playground kids, over to the kindergarten sandbox to play, while he enjoys being the leader of the 4 Square game.

Yeah, I heard the story. A friend called me and said the parents wanted a birthday cake and the store wouldn't put the kids name on it.

What a bunch of idiots (not the store). These people think that the store will get bad press from all this. I'm sure it will actually help business.

Dec. 17, 2008

Jeezus Christ at Christmas.

Much as I hate to further comment on blogs about your favorite obsession, JB, those parents should be charged with SOMETHING.

Perhaps you should write a bill delineating penalties just for being an Idiot. If we all pitch in with a big enough bribe, I'm sure we can get 'someone' in the House or Senate to support it.

:)

And where did the doting neo-Nazi parents finally get their birthday cake decorated to their specifications?

Wal-Mart. Of course:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081217/ap_on_fe_st/odd_hitler_cake

Dec. 22, 2008

And now all the skinheads are going to flock to Walmart, that wonderful company that completely identifies with exterminating everything in its path that would be a hindrance to its goals.

Dec. 22, 2008

Walmart must be loving the press.

Seriously, doesn't this couple realize...if they tell a baker the name they want on the cake, they may get a special "surprise" in the filling of the cake. Now...is that something they want poor little Adolf to have on his birthday?

And, if you really don't want to refuse a customer, how hard would it be to say "Uh, can we just put your childs first name? I'm not sure if you're aware of this, Mr. Skinhead, but when Little Johnny Andrews down the street had his 2nd birthday a few weeks ago, we wrote 'Happy Birthday Johnny' on the cake. No last or middle names involved in the process. Now...if you want to buy one of those little fake novelty mustaches for Adolf, maybe put them in the bags for party favors for all the lovely boys and girls that are coming over to celebrate, you can find those in aisle three. Might I also recommend a pinata. ALthough, we won't specially make a pinata shaped like a person of any race you hate. We only have the animals available that you see on aisle 7. Thank you, and please come again."

Dec. 22, 2008

Yes! I hate that premise that the customer is always right. Sometimes they are not. By offering them a reasonable alternative while politely explaining that their original request simply is not an option, then they have no choice but to take their terrible business elsewhere.

Dec. 23, 2008

When I worked at McDonald's in high school (see other threads)...they always said the customer is always right. Not sure how they felt about that when a guy used a fake $20 bill, with the 20s cut out and glued onto a one dollar bill (it actually worked with a cashier we had in her first week there). When the place is busy, you aren't inspecting the bills very well, just grabbing them and stuffing 'em in the drawer.

But, the amount of times I wouldn't give the customer what they want. We once had a big guy that looked like Cleveland on Family Guy. He insisted there was a pubic hair in his Quarter Pounder. Well, his quarter pounder was almost all eaten. And, there's this tiny little hair. I look up, and he's got this huge beard and mustache, all with the same kinds of hair. I ask if maybe it's from him. He starts getting mad (but in a rather calm way, like something Cleveland might do). THe manager came over, and gave him a new burger, telling me next time to do the same. I said I wouldn't. Because, as I explained to the customer before he came over, "Look back in the kitchen. You can see them all cooking. If anyone took their pants down, I'd surely see it. Or a customer would. The hair could be from someones arm, as some of our cooks have hairy arms. Or, it could be from your beard."

Now, if someone takes one or two bites out of the burger, says it's cold...they get a new one.

If someone came in from drive-thru, because we got the order wrong (that happened often)...I'd hook them up with all kinds of stuff for free. I didn't feel like a drive-thru customer should've had to deal with the inconvenience of getting out of the car, when that's what they tried avoiding in the first place.

But if you come up, and are too dumb to even think of a clever lie...as the Soup Nazi might say "No Big Mac for you!!!"

Dec. 23, 2008

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