she sat at her computer for a long time after he said a swift goodbye and left her with half a cigarette...which was a sacrifice for him she knew....

she thought about the redhead....who would have swiftly reached in and rendered every fiber of his nerves to snap and explode to her wondering in her where to apply the pressure of her lips and tongue....where to surrender just a little more.....his chest pressed against her undulating back....her legs opened wide....her scream stifled 'til his body gave the cue....his caresses catered to a pattern long discovered and so well known.....the knowing her body would spark with the discovery that indeed they'd been a perfect pair....knowing that their coming together would bring the height of reality and pleasure to ease the longing of his eager soul

she knew as she sipped her ice tea that she would never be able to compete with that.....the familiar smell of her body......the heady scent of her hair....the languid way she threw her legs over his legs......only she knew the positions that comforted him...relaxed him....and she kissed his eyelids as he closed drift into a completely satisfied sleep.....his arm over her shoulder....his manhood pressed against her buttocks ...his heart beating slowly time with hers.....

no heartbeat on her computer....only keys to send her love to him....clumsy spelling....words that might not find their way.....only fantasy's with no tactile connections......even if she had been able to physically be with him....the disadvantage would have still been there still.....a new old lover.....

she pushed herself away from the keyboard as the tears began to fall and caught her breath.....

she knew this was risky when she started it....knew that it was a different kind of connection that sped along the Ethernet to find or not find it's mark.....she hope he would tell her if it was only sex.....because in spite of the was not all she needed......not sex in the complete unknown....

time would bring more closeness...more understanding.....but real hands...real fingers....real thighs.....real throbbing inside and out would always supplant's still an open's truth still to be told......can i still hover here near the fire....lingering to feel the heat......can he....???

sorry about Shards..i forgot i put it in before


SDaniels April 5, 2010 @ 10:36 p.m.

lovely (reworking?) poem, even better on second chewing


antigeekess April 5, 2010 @ 11 p.m.

Still beautiful, and one of those things that should have won a place in the Neighborhood Blog Contest not once, but TWICE.

I miss the pic, though. It was so perfect up at the top.


CuddleFish April 5, 2010 @ 11:26 p.m.

Beautiful, nan, thanks for sharing it again with us.


David Dodd April 6, 2010 @ 2:10 a.m.

You know, nan, you're one of the neatest people here. You really do open up your soul, it's an awesome display of honest emotion.


nan shartel April 6, 2010 @ 11:45 a.m.

thx Refried...a dear friend years ago told me the most lovingly kind thing one can ever do for another person is show them my completely unadulterated authentic self

i thought he was right


MsGrant April 6, 2010 @ 12:07 p.m.

Authentic, indeed, nan, this is wonderful.


antigeekess April 6, 2010 @ 12:30 p.m. there's a COMPLETELY different blog entry at the top of the page than there was yesterday when most of these comments were posted (which was a reposting of this):

Interesting move.


nan shartel April 6, 2010 @ 7:05 p.m.

yes teflon mind disremembered i'd put that one in before...thusly this seemed a good substitution


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