Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Star Wars Fan Jailed, Must Undergo Mental Health Evaluation for Lightsaber Attack in Toy Store

It took this long for officials to realize the root word of "fanatic" is "fan?" Has it not occurred to them that a certain sector of the movie-going population has forever been irreparably harmed by George Lucas' Star Wars series, particularly Parts 1 - 3 and the one with the Ewoks?

The amount of in-jokes it would take to make this column the gold mine of giggles it deserves to be is simply not in me, and would take far too much research on a subject that holds little interest. Let us take a neutral point-of-view and allow the facts to speak for themselves: An Oregon judge sentenced David Allen Canterbury, 33, to 45-days in jail after he attacked customers at a Toy 'R Us with a pair of replica Star Wars lightsabers.

The Force is with you, young David Allen Canterbury, but you are not a Jedi yet.

At least this meshugana showed some restraint by limiting his mania to the internet. According to The Oregonian, Canterbury held a toy lightsaber in each hand as he did battle against three customers from the Dark Star last Dec. 14 at a Toys R Us store. Instead of solving the problem with a dissolve, a favored tactic of Mr. Lucas, Canterbury carried the lightsabers outside the store and swung at stormtroopers masquerading as Oregon police. Attempts to bring Canterbury down with a taser were thwarted by The Force. He later apologized to his victims,which shows a good spirit.

Canterbury's tale also involves a court-ordered mental health evaluation. He informed Judge Kenneth Walker that he is already seeking mental health treatment. After looking at his mug shot, I'm shocked to hear this. I mean no offense, but this guy has Claude Akins (pre-B.J. and the Bear) written all over his face and may need house arrest.

May the dross be with you!

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Why you climb El Cajon Mountain at night

The man with no rope fell 500 feet
Next Article

San Diego police buy acoustic weapons but don't use them

1930s car showroom on Kettner – not a place for homeless

It took this long for officials to realize the root word of "fanatic" is "fan?" Has it not occurred to them that a certain sector of the movie-going population has forever been irreparably harmed by George Lucas' Star Wars series, particularly Parts 1 - 3 and the one with the Ewoks?

The amount of in-jokes it would take to make this column the gold mine of giggles it deserves to be is simply not in me, and would take far too much research on a subject that holds little interest. Let us take a neutral point-of-view and allow the facts to speak for themselves: An Oregon judge sentenced David Allen Canterbury, 33, to 45-days in jail after he attacked customers at a Toy 'R Us with a pair of replica Star Wars lightsabers.

The Force is with you, young David Allen Canterbury, but you are not a Jedi yet.

At least this meshugana showed some restraint by limiting his mania to the internet. According to The Oregonian, Canterbury held a toy lightsaber in each hand as he did battle against three customers from the Dark Star last Dec. 14 at a Toys R Us store. Instead of solving the problem with a dissolve, a favored tactic of Mr. Lucas, Canterbury carried the lightsabers outside the store and swung at stormtroopers masquerading as Oregon police. Attempts to bring Canterbury down with a taser were thwarted by The Force. He later apologized to his victims,which shows a good spirit.

Canterbury's tale also involves a court-ordered mental health evaluation. He informed Judge Kenneth Walker that he is already seeking mental health treatment. After looking at his mug shot, I'm shocked to hear this. I mean no offense, but this guy has Claude Akins (pre-B.J. and the Bear) written all over his face and may need house arrest.

May the dross be with you!

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.