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Did you hear? Ricky Gervais is coming back to host the Golden Globes! Does that mean you'll watch this time?

Apparently, the decision to return was not an easy one. Gervais was worried that he might not be able to top last year's performance, during which he made a joke that he didn't want to attend a Cher concert because "it's not 1975." Psst, Ricky - jokes about Cher aren't funny, because it's not 1995.

My favorite bit is when he writes, "I love writing one liners. Particularly when they can't be used in any other context. It gives them a special weight on the night if you know what I mean."

"Can't be used in any other context"? He took shots at Charlie Sheen's drug use. At the age gap between Demi-lovers Bruce and Ashton. At closeted Scientologists! If I were a younger blogger with more time on his hands, I would spend a few hours checking to see if there was anything in Gervais bad-boy routine that hadn't been said already somewhere on the Internet. I'm not suggesting he stole other people's gags; I'm just saying it wasn't exactly virgin territory. Also, that tweaking celebrities for substance abuse isn't exactly speaking truth to power. But carry on. All the hubbub makes for plenty of sound and fury, which is pretty much the point.

Just remember, Ricky: nobody makes fun of Tim Allen on Johnny Depp's watch and gets away with it.

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Colonna Nov. 19, 2011 @ 4:15 a.m.

Yippee. I'd rather watch paint dry.


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