4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

A Closer Look at the Trailer for Jack the Giant Killer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTIJRj_hRao

It's Lazy Day here at The Big Screen, and to start things off, we have the laziest intro to The Magic Geegaw at the Heart of the Story ever, as Earnest Young Fellow explains the famous magic beans to Jack:

"They're holy relics from a very special place far, far away. They are born of dark magic. They have the power to change the world as we know it."

Well, which is it? Are they holy relics? Or are they born of dark magic? I'm not sure they can be both. "And lo, Saint Ambrose dropped to his knees and prayed to Our Lord for a sign, and the Lord heard his cry, and in His mercy, He sent His army of demonic mutant monstrosities to rape, torture, and defile the very souls of everyone in that place."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOrgLj9lOwk

Also, has there ever been a more generic description than "a very special place far, far away"? I mean, at least Star Wars gave us the specificity of "a galaxy." And Star Wars ain't exactly the gold standard for screenwriting excellence.

Image

Also, "the power to change the world as we know it" isn't exactly "the power to plunge the world into a shadowy realm of terror and despair," you know? I could come up with an example of something that changed the world as we know it in a perfectly mundane way, but then, this is Lazy Day, and this trailer hardly seems worth the effort. Let's just let the lazy tagline hammer home the laziness, shall we?

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Picking the perfect white elephant gift

Revisit the art of humorous gift giving

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTIJRj_hRao

It's Lazy Day here at The Big Screen, and to start things off, we have the laziest intro to The Magic Geegaw at the Heart of the Story ever, as Earnest Young Fellow explains the famous magic beans to Jack:

"They're holy relics from a very special place far, far away. They are born of dark magic. They have the power to change the world as we know it."

Well, which is it? Are they holy relics? Or are they born of dark magic? I'm not sure they can be both. "And lo, Saint Ambrose dropped to his knees and prayed to Our Lord for a sign, and the Lord heard his cry, and in His mercy, He sent His army of demonic mutant monstrosities to rape, torture, and defile the very souls of everyone in that place."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOrgLj9lOwk

Also, has there ever been a more generic description than "a very special place far, far away"? I mean, at least Star Wars gave us the specificity of "a galaxy." And Star Wars ain't exactly the gold standard for screenwriting excellence.

Image

Also, "the power to change the world as we know it" isn't exactly "the power to plunge the world into a shadowy realm of terror and despair," you know? I could come up with an example of something that changed the world as we know it in a perfectly mundane way, but then, this is Lazy Day, and this trailer hardly seems worth the effort. Let's just let the lazy tagline hammer home the laziness, shall we?

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Comments
2

Geez, what crap.

Note to hack directors. The "huge item flying through the air then landing on the camera (except it's actually just a computer)" scene is getting unbearably old.

Dec. 21, 2011

Who plays the Costello role?

Dec. 21, 2011

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close