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"Keep dreaming, kid."

Maybe you didn't need David Elliott to tell you that J. Edgar was "a story already bound, shelved, and turning dusty at the Library of Congress," featuring a "dossier portrait" lead performance from Leo "Marty Who?" DiCaprio. But in case you did need him to tell you, here you go. It really is a delightful bit of critical savaging - though perhaps not as savage a savaging as what he delivers to Lars "Godwin" Von Trier's Melancholia: "Reputedly, Von Trier discovered the works of Thomas Mann and Fyodor Dostoevsky rather lately, but he is already far beyond them in piling bricks of pretension. Melancholia is strangely awful, like a dazed Ingmar Bergman picture lost at a sci-fi convention." What your people call mashups, my people call mush.

Reviewed in the movie capsules: The Interrupters, Like Crazy, The Man Nobody Knew, Revenge of the Electric Car, and Tower Heist.

(Yes, there is some mutual back-slappery going on this week, as Elliott has a kind word for Ye Olde Blog and its humble correspondents. But you already knew we liked each other. Top o' the world, Duncan!)

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