Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Never mind the Killer Elite, here's the Scorpions!

Okay, just one more and I'll lay off the snark. But the full trailer for Killer Elite just came over the wire, and I'll be dipped if they don't use the Scorpions' "Rock You Like A Hurricane" as the musical backdrop for all their tough-guy, stuff explodin' action.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93u-EYjcnzY

The Scorpions. From their hit 1984 album Love at First Sting. Huh. Help me out, Wikipedia:

"The song, as well as its chorus ('Here I am/Rock you like a hurricane') have become ubiquitous in North American popular culture, being used in numerous shows and films, including Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Simpsons, Hope & Faith, Trailer Park Boys, Jawbreaker, Knocked Up, Little Nicky, The Cleveland Show, and Role Models. It is also frequently used in television commercials and other promos, including for Blades of Glory, The Iron Giant, Human Weapon, and Monsters vs. Aliens. It has been featured on Applebee's commercial for the sizzling steak and chicken fajitas, Nabisco's ad for Premium Crackers, and NASCAR driver Kasey Kahne dances to the song in a promotional spot for Allstate."

Yeah, that's kind of what I thought. Notice any similarities amongst those film and television uses? That's right - except for Human Weapon (?) and maybe NASCAR, they're all comedies, having a bit of fun at the expense of '80s hair metal. Killer Elite? Not so much. Killer Elite wants you to feel the rush, man.

I was all set to make fun. But then I went and watched the actual video for the song, and man oh man. Forget Killer Elite - this is a movie I want to see.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r46R7Dq748

Okay, so there's this evil Red Queen, see...

And she rules over her world with the help of her seemingly evil but slightly mysterious sister.

The sister goes around doing her evil deeds with the help of her leopard...

...while the Queen prefers to enlist the aid of a completely black panther. (It's symbolism, see? The panther, being totally black, represents total evil. But the leopard is only spotted with black. That's called foreshadowing.)

Our story begins in one of the planet's terrifying prison chambers, where enemies of the Red Queen are held in suspended animation, just like in Minority Report.

But wait! One of the prisoners - call him the Wolf, for the whole dogs vs. cats imagery - is conscious, and plotting to escape!

He makes his break, only to be apprehended by...

...one of the Queen's deadly High Guards!

After a deadly struggle, Wolf escapes into the one place where the High Guards will be too frightened to follow him: the treacherous Blade Forest.

There, he encounters the powerful Bum Wizards, warming their magical hands over a magical trash can fire. They advise him that his only hope is to defeat the Queen's magic with the power of rock. "You must rock them, rock them like a hurricane," they intone. Wolf accepts, saying only, "Here I am."

But the Red Queen is not so easily defeated. After killing her High Guards for their failure, she wipes the blood from her face and vows to trap the Wolf.

It seems she will succeed. It isn't long before she has Wolf and his friends The Scorpions caged and surrounded.

Indeed, one of her Elite Troops lunges forward...

...and manages to strangle Wolf's guitarist in the middle of his solo!

But wait! The Red Queen's sister has fallen in love with Wolf, and breaks open the cage so he can flee!

After the daring escape, a grueling chase ensues.

One by one...

...The Scorpions are captured and brutally executed.

In the end, it's down to just Wolf and the Queen's sister. "What's the one place she'll never think to look for us?" says Wolf with a smile. "In the prison tubes!"

Oh, yeah, I'm in jail with a hot chick!

Film ends with The Red Queen entering the clearing and looking about in confused frustration. Where have the escapees gone?

We can't lose!

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

USD more than doubles student housing in Linda Vista

Adjunct faculty clamors to be included in expansion

Okay, just one more and I'll lay off the snark. But the full trailer for Killer Elite just came over the wire, and I'll be dipped if they don't use the Scorpions' "Rock You Like A Hurricane" as the musical backdrop for all their tough-guy, stuff explodin' action.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93u-EYjcnzY

The Scorpions. From their hit 1984 album Love at First Sting. Huh. Help me out, Wikipedia:

"The song, as well as its chorus ('Here I am/Rock you like a hurricane') have become ubiquitous in North American popular culture, being used in numerous shows and films, including Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Simpsons, Hope & Faith, Trailer Park Boys, Jawbreaker, Knocked Up, Little Nicky, The Cleveland Show, and Role Models. It is also frequently used in television commercials and other promos, including for Blades of Glory, The Iron Giant, Human Weapon, and Monsters vs. Aliens. It has been featured on Applebee's commercial for the sizzling steak and chicken fajitas, Nabisco's ad for Premium Crackers, and NASCAR driver Kasey Kahne dances to the song in a promotional spot for Allstate."

Yeah, that's kind of what I thought. Notice any similarities amongst those film and television uses? That's right - except for Human Weapon (?) and maybe NASCAR, they're all comedies, having a bit of fun at the expense of '80s hair metal. Killer Elite? Not so much. Killer Elite wants you to feel the rush, man.

I was all set to make fun. But then I went and watched the actual video for the song, and man oh man. Forget Killer Elite - this is a movie I want to see.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r46R7Dq748

Okay, so there's this evil Red Queen, see...

And she rules over her world with the help of her seemingly evil but slightly mysterious sister.

The sister goes around doing her evil deeds with the help of her leopard...

...while the Queen prefers to enlist the aid of a completely black panther. (It's symbolism, see? The panther, being totally black, represents total evil. But the leopard is only spotted with black. That's called foreshadowing.)

Our story begins in one of the planet's terrifying prison chambers, where enemies of the Red Queen are held in suspended animation, just like in Minority Report.

But wait! One of the prisoners - call him the Wolf, for the whole dogs vs. cats imagery - is conscious, and plotting to escape!

He makes his break, only to be apprehended by...

...one of the Queen's deadly High Guards!

After a deadly struggle, Wolf escapes into the one place where the High Guards will be too frightened to follow him: the treacherous Blade Forest.

There, he encounters the powerful Bum Wizards, warming their magical hands over a magical trash can fire. They advise him that his only hope is to defeat the Queen's magic with the power of rock. "You must rock them, rock them like a hurricane," they intone. Wolf accepts, saying only, "Here I am."

But the Red Queen is not so easily defeated. After killing her High Guards for their failure, she wipes the blood from her face and vows to trap the Wolf.

It seems she will succeed. It isn't long before she has Wolf and his friends The Scorpions caged and surrounded.

Indeed, one of her Elite Troops lunges forward...

...and manages to strangle Wolf's guitarist in the middle of his solo!

But wait! The Red Queen's sister has fallen in love with Wolf, and breaks open the cage so he can flee!

After the daring escape, a grueling chase ensues.

One by one...

...The Scorpions are captured and brutally executed.

In the end, it's down to just Wolf and the Queen's sister. "What's the one place she'll never think to look for us?" says Wolf with a smile. "In the prison tubes!"

Oh, yeah, I'm in jail with a hot chick!

Film ends with The Red Queen entering the clearing and looking about in confused frustration. Where have the escapees gone?

We can't lose!

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Jay Allen Sanford's fiancee accused of first-degree murder

When your love is locked up
Next Article

Family Music

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader