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THINKING ABOUT RELOCATING SOMEWHERE LESS "SUBURBAN," LA MESA - If you ask Will Strikefirst, regional director of Drone-Related Operations for National Emergencies (DRONE), he will tell you that there are absolutely no plans to reduce the Al-Rribat Al-Islmai mosque in La Mesa to a pile of smoking rubble in the wake of the US government's offer of a $5 million reward for former worshiper (and former San Diegan) Jehad Mostafa. None at all.

"Look," says Strikefirst, "just because this one mosque in La Mesa served as a gathering place for two of the 9-11 hijackers AND former Al Qaeda bigwig Anwar al Awlaki AND a key figure for the Somali terrorist group Al Shabab, AND just because the United States has made it clear that we are willing to use drones on our own citizens and on our own soil if national security demands it, that does NOT mean we are going to launch a precision strike against a building situated that close to a major traffic artery. I mean, come on."

However, a spokesman for the San Diego Board of Realtors, speaking on condition of anonymity, did note that while home values countywide are spiking, "we have noted a few, stubbon 'trouble spots,' where prices are either holding at relative lows or even dropping. Okay, just one spot. Yeah, no one wants to live there."

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