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FBI Investigation into Former El Cajon Councilwoman Shines Whimsical Light on Her Management of Mother Goose Parade


READING OTHER PEOPLE'S DIARIES IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE - The FBI investigation into how Jillian Hanson-Cox managed to lure aftermarket celebrities such as Erik Estrada and Alan Thicke to the godforsaken wastelands of East County for El Cajon's Mother Goose parade has yielded this cache of rewritten nursery rhymes from Hanson-Cox's private journals.

(To the rhyme of Peter, Peter, Pumpkin-Eater)

Jillian, Jillian, spend-a-million

If that is a crime, it sure is a silly one

She got Mario Lopez from Saved by the Bell

And used nostalgia very well.

(To the rhyme of Jack Be Nimble)

Jill be nimble, Jill be quick

Jill hope that the charge won’t stick

(To the rhyme of Rock-A-Bye Baby)

FBI spooks won’t leave me alone

When the door knocks, I’ll say I’m not home

When the door breaks, the cops will come in

And off to the pokey will go Jillian.

(To the rhyme of Humpty Dumpty)

Hanson-Cox, she sat on a Board

Hanson-Cox, she had a great hoard

Tori and Erik, Katharine and Drake

All helped themselves to a slice of the cake.

[Tori Spelling (Beverly Hills 91210), Erik Estrada (CHiPs), Katherine McPhee (American Idol), Drake Bell (Drake and Josh)]

(To the rhyme of Cock a Doodle Do!)

Cock a Doodle Doo!

Parades are hard to do!

The budget can’t fit Alan Thicke

And that will never do

Cock a Doodle Doo!

What is a gal to do?

Ferrigno gets mad if he isn’t paid

And turns into you-know-who!

[Alan Thicke (Growing Pains), Lou Ferrigno (The Incredible Hulk)]

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