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DVD Delivery Arm of Popular Movie Service Seeks Needed Public Relations Boost; San Diego Library System Seeks Needed Cash Money

"'Qwikster Central' - well, it sounds better than just 'Qwikster,' I guess."


GAZING WITH CAUTIOUS HOPE AT THE NAKED REBAR RISING FROM THE CONCRETE PILLARS, DOWNTOWN LIBRARY CONSTRUCTION SITE - First came Netflix's poorly handled rate hike, which sent subscribers fleeing in droves. Then came its decision to split its streaming and home-DVD-delivery services, with the latter receiving the faintly ridiculous moniker of Qwikster.

"Clearly, we needed to do something right, and fast," says Qwikster CEO Andy Rendich. "We started looking around for a goodwill gesture, something that was both in keeping with our company's core mission of bringing an unrivaled selection of DVDs to the consumer and supported a high-profile, completely uncontroversial project. When we heard the naming rights for the new San Diego central library were up for sale, it was a no-brainer. With over 100,000 titles, we see ourselves as the central library of the film world. And just as physical books are rapidly becoming obsolete, so also is the DVD fading from cultural relevance. Like libraries, Qwikster will soon serve as a kind of museum, a place kept alive by nostalgia and niche interests. It just made sense."

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Ponzi Sept. 28, 2011 @ 9:57 a.m.

No. No naming rights for libraries. How stupid.

Stay classy San Diego.


Ponzi Sept. 28, 2011 @ 11:36 a.m.

Yeah, I figured that out after I posted.

In my experience though, anything is possible in San Diego.


tomjohnston Sept. 28, 2011 @ 11:52 a.m.

"In my experience though, anything is possible in San Diego." I don't know. As an outsider looking in, sometimes I think the exact opposite is true, that nothing is possible in San Diego.


Walter Mencken Sept. 28, 2011 @ 12:15 p.m.

But the naming rights part is totally factual! Check the link!


Joaquin_de_la_Mesa Sept. 28, 2011 @ 12:36 p.m.

Maybe Apple could buy the naming rights, then insist on calling it iTunes Library.


Visduh Sept. 29, 2011 @ 7:07 p.m.

Ya' gotta understand that this satire can often turn out to be the very thing that happens. As in "truth that is stranger than fiction." From time to time, I read pieces in the Reader that I'm sure were tongue-in-cheek, only to learn they were for real. Separating the real from the unreal is getting harder and harder.


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