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Serial Blogger
Two guys in a locker room after their racquetball game. One guy notices that the other has a cork in his butt. "If you don't mind my mentioning it", he says, "that cork looks really uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?" "I can't," laments the first one. "It's permanent" "I don't understand," says guy two. First guy says. "I was walking along the beach when I tripped over an oil lamp and a big puff of smoke happened. Then a huge man in a turban came oozing out. He said, "I am Hassan the genie. I can grant you one wish." And I said, "No s***!"— October 10, 2009 9:51 p.m.
Serial Blogger
And an economy-size version of refried's earlier story: A fellow walks into a bar with a ten-inch, scowling man on his shoulder. He orders a drink. The little man jumps off the shoulder, drinks a third of the drink and climbs back up. The fellow then orders a sandwich. The little man likewise devours a third of the sandwich. After this goes on for two more drinks, the bartender says, "Hey buddy, I don't usually pry into customers' private affairs, but what the heck is it with that little guy?" The customer replies, "Well, I found a bottle on the beach. When I uncorked it, out popped a genie. He gave me one wish. I asked for a 10-inch prick, and the Genie shrunk my lawyer!"— October 10, 2009 9:46 p.m.
Serial Blogger
A husband and a wife were out enjoying a round of golf and were teeing off on the third hole which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to their surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces. They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, the found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head. The wife said, "Do you live here?" "No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there and freed me from that little bottle. I am so grateful," he answered. The wife said, "Are you a Genie?" "Oh, why yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, the third I will keep for myself," the man replied. The husband and wife agreed on two wishes...one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for and income of $1,000,000 per year forever. The Genie nodded and said, "Done!" The Genie now said, "For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I have made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire." The husband and wife agreed. After the Genie and wife were finished, the Genie asked the wife, "How long have you been married?" to which she responded, "Three years." The Genie then asked, "How old is your husband?" to which she responded, 31 years old." The Genie then asked, "And he still believes in this Genie stuff?"— October 10, 2009 9:45 p.m.
Serial Blogger
re #14: (This first one's a little dated.) Dennis Rodman finds a bottle on beach and picks it up. Suddenly a female genie appears. "Master, I may grant you one wish," she says with a smile. "Don't you know who I am, bitch? I don't need no woman to give me nothin", yells Dennis. The genie pleads with him, "But Master! I must grant you one wish or go back to the bottle forever." Dennis thinks it over, grumbles about the inconvenience of it all, but relents. "Okay. I wanna wake up in the mornin' with three women in my bed. So just do it! Now leave me alone!" "So be it," says the genie, who's a little annoyed by this time. And the very next morning, Dennis awakens to find three women in his bed; Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hillary Clinton. His penis is gone. His leg is broken. And he has no health insurance. :)— October 10, 2009 9:44 p.m.
Like A Raindow In The Dark...
Great song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoA3Fr3Zgh4 ...even though there's no such thing, really. Ya gotta have light for a rainbow, even if it's just a little. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow http://www.bergoiata.org/fe/Rainbows/Double%20Rai… "My heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky." -- William Wordsworth :)— October 10, 2009 9:21 p.m.
My husband is slowly falling in love with San Diego
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cIPtFr0pXU :)— October 10, 2009 9:10 p.m.
Rush Hour Spectacle
So refried, in your opinion, what are the source and point of all these incorrect stories that come out of Mexico? It seems that when they're repeated up here, it's because the original source was wrong, right? Is it just bad Mexican "journalism," then? Deliberate manipulation of the facts by the papers, the cops, or what? I mean, I could understand if it was stuff that was deliberately manipulated to terrify Americans if it was done on this side. "See there? Don't go to Mexico! Keep your tourism and entertainment dollars in the U.S.!" Or something like that. Why's it always so screwed up?— October 10, 2009 8:28 p.m.
He Got A Nobel Why?
"AG-I understood what Adam meant. He meant it in the most patriotic way. A TRUE patriot ALWAYS questions his government." Well, he's probably a big boy who can speak for himself, and I agree with your statement. However, the whole ragging on Obama about something somebody else gave him? I don't really see the point. It's like when one of your relatives gives you some butt-ugly thing you don't want, and it has to be part of your decor. Then you gotta put up with other people looking at it and judging YOU for it. It's like, "Hey, I didn't go out and BUY this thing. It was GIVEN to me, and if I said I didn't want it, it would have been really insulting and hurt a lot of feelings." The only way Obama deserves any crap about it is if he nominated himself. I'm sure that'll be the next line of BS from the "Obama's an A-rab" crowd. <rolls eyes in bored disgust>— October 10, 2009 12:01 a.m.
He Got A Nobel Why?
Adam opined: "You have started a fantastic dialogue that, even if it's on a subject that can raise some prickly hairs on the nape of the neck, it is still necessary." Why?— October 9, 2009 11:42 p.m.
Unfriendly skies
Somebody called Burwell pulled this one out: "At least 650 sworn officers on the SDPD payroll have memberships in MENSA." Wow. Where'd ya get THAT data? For that matter, how many officers are there in the SDPD? Sounds like that would be an ungodly high percentage.— October 9, 2009 11:39 p.m.