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No Apologies
"I act like I'm the only person to have problems? REALLY? Wrong answer there. Self-pity? Perhaps deep down inside but I've worked long and hard to make sure I don't show my self-pity. I guess you're just that good,SD. Racial slurs? Sure. Unless you're a ni&&er,you can't get offended." Well, Pete. I figured that my very long post taking very seriously your main points as I saw them, might show that someone is willing to expend some time and thought on you--clearly, it is not enough, and you have decided to misinterpret and remain in that protective shell of angry and hateful--in keeping with the narcissist's inability to trust, connect, or adapt outside of that rigid mirror image. Tough, because when your own motives are suspect, no one else's can possibly be kind or caring, and no one can truly ever understand, right? Not much else to say, except that last sentence is just-- sad. Shakespearian tragedy? Nah. Just a lost cause. I wish you luck all the same.— October 22, 2009 3:28 p.m.
Snapshots of all sides of San Diego neighborhoods
True, Captain, but I'm going to try and see this non-cynically--viz: This is not at all a lazy bottom-scraping piece, but a wonderful way to encourage the blogging community contributors to revisit each other's past stories, and mix up the conversation--in lieu of delving fresh talent and perspective available from contributors old and new (oops, that sounded cynical again...) ;)— October 22, 2009 3:15 p.m.
Friday Night Frights Part II
...and anything we can possibly do. Anything.— October 22, 2009 3:08 p.m.
Friday Night Frights Part II
Oh god, I hope it is not as bad as you seem to be thinking. I wish wish wish there were something we could do for Mr. Brizz. We love you, and thoughts are with you. Pass it on, Mr. Blair and xians421, and let us know what you can.— October 22, 2009 2:59 p.m.
Straight Eye for the Gay Guy
"prolly gave her that killer acne, too." How did I miss that golden snackcake-like opportunity? SOB!!! HIC. :)— October 22, 2009 4:55 a.m.
No Apologies
(cont) "If I say something racist or sexist and you're not a person of that particular race or sex,you're tihs out of luck." Yeah, this is probably where I will just have to ignore some of your posts. I don't agree with bashing of the sexes, and abhor expressions of racism as hurtful and useless. I'm sorry that for you they seem necessary in order to exercise your rights to free speech, and I hope that some day you take on some alternate viewpoints on this matter. However, I don't think I'm the right one to relay any of them to you. "If you want to be petty,I'll ignore you." Of course, it takes a complex person to decide what is actually petty, and what is something else entirely--such as hurt petulance resulting from bigger issues. I wish you luck on that journey, and on one of the most important odysseys of your life—telling and figuring your own life :)— October 22, 2009 4:18 a.m.
No Apologies
(cont). It would be great if online communication were somehow magical, and no one ever got offended, because everyone always understood everything said from the right or intended perspective. In fact, most people writing here do it because they are talented enough to overcome some of the natural blocks inherent in written communications, and to make themselves heard and understood. Let me say this: You want to communicate your life story, especially the traumatic episodes of it, through your blogs, and this must mean that you would like some readers, and some kind of feedback, some human reaction--even sympathy, empathy. But it has to be a two-way street, dear, just as you put it. I would be an ally to you, naturally, for this. I began to respect you when you started to show your humanity on this site, and it had nothing to do with censoring yourself, as the popular explanation has been going around here--it was for speaking more, and more honestly, about yourself. But this leads me back to that two-way street, if I may: "If I say something offensive,tell me. We'll discuss it like rational adults and if I think I'm wrong for saying it,I'll be more than happy to say I was wrong and apologize. I'm not asking for cart blanche here either. It's a two way street." This all sounds great, and I hope you mean it, because it indicates that we should get along pretty well. However, does that mean that you might just burst out with something totally mean to someone, knowing it will hurt their feelings--because you can just apologize later? That just doesn't work. The two-way street to me means that people both give and take, and are careful of one another's feelings. I really don't think anyone here is overly thin-skinned. I think it has more to do with just ignoring that people are people, just like you. Does that make sense? You are not the only one I'm accusing of doing this, btw--we could all be a little more empathetic, and a little less tetchy, and a little tact does not necessarily equate with freedom of speech lost or censored. Btw, it is not all, IMO, just about feelings. It is about reasoned argument—if you start out with statements of bias, that are untenable logically, then I for one don’t know what to do with them except point out where I think they went wrong, and how it may be difficult to build a dialogue on them. Just flat out relying on epithets and false conclusions, such as calling someone a “US Hater;” or twisting someone’s words so that you can denounce them as a tyrant of censorship, for example, is an easy, thoughtless trick that does nothing toward building a useful argument.— October 22, 2009 4:18 a.m.
No Apologies
I'll deal with these point by point: "I'm your mirror. Everytime I strike a nerve with you,take a look in your soul and see what's there." Pete, I think it is a mistake to assume that you are holding a mirror up to just whomever you piss off. There is a well-accepted theory that we hate most in others what we want to bury deep within or away from ourselves--kinda like homophobia works. It is sometimes more important that you hold up the mirror for yourself, and that we all hold up our own mirrors--for it is doubtful whether we ever truly get out of the mirror phase (cf Jacques Lacan). I am a person who soul-searches and examines my reactions to everything on a daily basis, and learned this in extensive psychoanalysis (Freud's analysand!) as well as study of it through literature and just reading the texts-- always using myself and others around me as subjects. If you really want to go that route, you have to be willing to know which way to turn the mirror, and when to put the mirror down, too, or be doomed to the limited knowledge of the narcissist. It's really hard s***, but it's worth doing, and spending one's life trying to understand oneself and others via emotion and opinion. "By trying to goad me into a war,you not only failed,which is a human attribute,but you gained some respect from me for trying to." I wasn't trying to start a war with you. I was trying to show you that you treated my news of contracting the swine flu first as mistaken, as though I just pay too much attention to the media, and then you just stayed with the theme of what a crock H1N1 is in the media. You were cold and callous to someone you had previously been treating as a friend, and who had shown feeling and concern for your own pain and suffering. That made me think that you must desire comfort yourself, but cannot give it--every single person who has read your posts about traumatic events has suffered as bad or worse--that's life. Not to belittle yours at all, but just in the hopes that you gain some perspective on that, and realize again, that others feel just as deeply as you do. Hitting the red X? Just some gal? Some guy? I think refried copped out major on that one, for his own reasons--one of them being that he is emotionally a very private person. Pete, you don't strike me as someone who truly wishes to see people-- even people you just write online with--as ciphers with no feelings. I guess this because you have tried so hard to reach out yourself.— October 22, 2009 4:17 a.m.
Straight Eye for the Gay Guy
Getting serious for a moment, "Father Figure" STILL gives me the chills every time I listen to it, and I don't think it's just the fever. That song drove my mother crazy too--sure it's a cliche-- but damn does he ever tell a girl or guy EXACTLY what s/he wants--just the right blend of passion and true-ness. Lawks a mercy, it gettin' hot up in heah. :)— October 22, 2009 3:12 a.m.
Straight Eye for the Gay Guy
Who did Little Debbie think she was, acting that way, stealing your gays!? Guess her family snack cake fortune made her uppity.— October 22, 2009 3 a.m.