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Benjamin Button Bazooka Blast
Well, I'm going to start doing either one of two things. Or both. I'm going to just ASSume that there will be talkers. 75% of the time, there are. I will buy my movie ticket, and see the manager BEFORE even entering the theatre. I'm going to tell them there are always talkers. I'm going to say, "When there is, I'm going to come get you. Or another manager. I want the talker removed. I don't want to go thru this bull$&%@ where you guys go in there and stand against the wall for a minute. And they'll be quiet and you don't do anything. I'll point them out, and you will say 'I'm going to have to ask you to leave.' If you don't want to do that, because...if you just ask them to be quieter, they won't. If you don't do that, you can just give me a pair of free movie tickets. And, I'm not doing this for free movie tickets...but I will have already missed a few minutes of the film by coming to get you and you doing nothing about the situation." If the manager doesn't do this, I'll go back to my Coke spilling idea. I'll buy a Coke, and act like I'm going to sit by them. As they scrunch into their seats, and I'm walking by, I'll "accidentally" spill my Coke on them. And I'll apologize profusely. They'll then have no choice but to leave the movie, at the very least, to get cleaned up. Maybe I'll be ballsy and look around and say (as the guy leaves) "anyone else wanna talk during the movie?"— December 29, 2008 10:59 a.m.
Lowlifes and Lowriders (an airplane drunk and a lowrider)
Yeah...I guess in the grand scheme if things it's not a big complaint. And yeah, if someone does all that stuff to their car, they probably like being complimented on it. Even if that means being pulled over. It just seems cops sometimes have this attitude, and part of that is...I'll pull this guy over, and they'll be happy I'm not giving them a ticket, but talking about their car.— December 29, 2008 10:53 a.m.
Burger Commercials
That's funny that you mention all these DQs being in Texas and how crowded they are. One of the best movies you'll ever see, is called FANDANGO. Kevin Costners first starring role, and has Judd Nelson playing a nerd. They are driving thru Texas, and they stop at a DQ that is the "happenin'" place in town, and they pick up on some girls. Judd Nelson claims they're "jail bait." When Costner says, "That never stopped us before," Nelson responses with "Yeah...that's because we were jailbait, too!"— December 29, 2008 10:51 a.m.
Life Cycle -- Lance Armstrong Gets Woman Pregnant!
Damn! Best line I've heard in weeks. Nice one Grant.— December 27, 2008 6:42 p.m.
Weird Stories in North County
Did you write "what the helsinki he thinkie"? You should be contributing stuff to Leno! That's a weird story. For some reason, it reminded me of something I saw on TV a few years back. In a small town, an old lady ended up dead. They had no clue who would do it, nobody had motive. So, they made everyone in the town give a blood sample (there was a small bit of blood at the scene that didn't belong to the old lady). I know a lot of liberals like you anti, probably hate the fact that "peoples rights were violated." Whereas my logic is...if it helps find the criminal, what's wrong with giving a blood sample? Sure enough, one guy in this small down had the same blood. He was the garbage man that has this lady on his route. Case solved.— December 27, 2008 10:57 a.m.
Life Cycle -- Lance Armstrong Gets Woman Pregnant!
That was a funny write up. "one nut wonder" was a great line. Also dug the visual of Lance trying to convince her he didn't need protection. Great stuff.— December 27, 2008 10:52 a.m.
Signs on the Road
Those were some good signs. Thanks for posting. I'm sure the motorcycle dude is dead by now. Idiots like that keep doing stuff like that, until they bite the dust. I saw a guy on TV about a month ago, who would ride a wheelie with his friends. A car was filming it, when his back hit the ground because he was up so high, and he munched it. I can't believe the dude lived.— December 27, 2008 10:50 a.m.
Lame Names in Lyrics
Yeah, the song is okay. It's cute. Kind of like those Will Smith raps. Usually if I want to Google song lyrics, I just type the name of the song into Google, with "lyrics" next to it, and lots of things pop up. I don't like to Google and do research before blogging, because to me, a blog should just be crap on the top of my head. Not some well, researched piece of writing.— December 26, 2008 11:32 a.m.
Correcting People
Well, here's how I look at it. Had I sent an explanation about how Christmas cards could be offensive to some, but with NO TIP, then that's a jerk move. By giving them the $20...they're logic might be..."hey, you can tell me anything you want for twenty bucks. you can tell me to go to your church, and i might think about it." And, my intention was good. I don't want them getting screwed on tips, because of someone that freaks when they see the word "Christmas".— December 26, 2008 11:29 a.m.
Burger Commercials
gravy has no business being anywhere on a breakfast plate. and, am i the only person that doesn't care for waffles? i mean, they're okay, but people go nuts over waffle house types of places. i mean, what's the deal with Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles in L.A.? so many brothers love that place. it sounds absolutely disgusting to me. hash browns...yes! waffles...if there are frozen ones in my freezer and nothing else to eat, okay.— December 26, 2008 11:27 a.m.