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It's Official, If a Bit Silly: We Have a Bear Market. More Disturbing: General Motors Could Go Bankrupt, Says Analyst
PARENTAL ADVISORY WARNING =Delete Before Reading= Re: #41 Yes, I made sure to use the correct definition per fumber. I hold him in the deepest respect (as the UT editorial writer) and ensured that his vocabulary was used properly in my modest contribution to the world of high-brow poetry above. Here is proof: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language: Fourth Edition. 2000. http://www.bartleby.com/61/84/P0048400.html Pantywaist: 1. A child's undergarment consisting of a shirt and pants buttoned together at the waist. 2. Slang A boy or man who is considered weak or effeminate. Urban Dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pa… Panty Waste: 1) The dried crusty mucus secretion left in girls and women's undergarments, usually resulting from excessive stimulation of the vaginal area. Also known as "clitty litter".— July 7, 2008 7:29 a.m.
With $6 Million Gift, David Copley Endows UCLA Center for Costume Design
Don, if you haven't already seen it, please watch this breaking news video... http://www.theonion.com/content/video/bush_tours_…— July 6, 2008 12:54 p.m.
It's Official, If a Bit Silly: We Have a Bear Market. More Disturbing: General Motors Could Go Bankrupt, Says Analyst
==Warning -!- Inappropriate Content= ==Delete Before Reading== Fumber limerick 2.0 for Russl What I like about panty wastes Is the very smooth way it tastes It's far better than urine For fixin and curin' The drivel I copy and pastes— July 6, 2008 12:53 p.m.
Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest
Josh, all right minded people agree. Social policy proposals aimed at improving the light of the less fortunate in society need serious discussion and wide-ranging participation. Therefore I recommend that you get local restaurants and Indian Gaming establishments involved in this worthy endeavor. Feeding the homeless combined with online betting is a sure winner for both social justice and a healthy profit. Restaurants take turns sponsoring the food for the contest. Their logos will be prominently displayed. The Gaming Tribes run the online betting system. Allow bets to be placed via text messages. Sure, some of the homeless might be suseptable to bribes. They might get paid off with the promise of a free place to park their cart for not eating left-over linguine from Little Italy. Some of the homeless might try doping to improve their competitive performance. Authorities must be watchful that none of them smoke marijuana to give them the advantageous "munchies" just before a competition. Otherwise, I see no reason this shouldn't be immediately adopted by the City Council and put into effect. The venue can vary from week to week, as long as there is plenty of shopping cart parking nearby. I highly endorse having the innaugural competition at 202 C Street. Best, Fred Williams The World's Finest Public Policy Analyst— July 6, 2008 12:48 p.m.
With $6 Million Gift, David Copley Endows UCLA Center for Costume Design
Update: Gerry Braun is copying my style: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/braun/20… Proof that UT writers read Don's blog...— July 6, 2008 8:05 a.m.
It's Official, If a Bit Silly: We Have a Bear Market. More Disturbing: General Motors Could Go Bankrupt, Says Analyst
Fumber, Russl, and Don, please help me out with the above...it's still not quite right...high-brow poetry is hard work and I need some help.— July 6, 2008 7:57 a.m.
With $6 Million Gift, David Copley Endows UCLA Center for Costume Design
Re: #34 I'm just giving back. I read the Union and the Tribune both in their day. I'm sure that some of those writers now looking for work are spending their days reading online, and naturally have a glance at this blog, Don. I consider it a pleasure to brighten their day with a hearty laugh. I hope they copy/paste the url and send it to their friends, or dress it up on officialish letter head...(insert evil laughter here). At the minimum, I find it funny and enjoy having written it. That's pay enough for now. Still, it would be nice to write a regular satire of "officialish correspondence" between our dear leaders. For today, thanks for the compliment. Fred the merry prankster— July 6, 2008 7:53 a.m.
It's Official, If a Bit Silly: We Have a Bear Market. More Disturbing: General Motors Could Go Bankrupt, Says Analyst
Fumber's limerick: When your argument comes to impass Remember to drink your wheatgrass It'll tighten your grommit And might make you vomit So be sure to talk out your *ss— July 6, 2008 7:42 a.m.
With $6 Million Gift, David Copley Endows UCLA Center for Costume Design
==Warning: Parental Advisory for Strong Content== Dear David, We are all so pleased about your generous gift. Just like you always say, "We ain't in Kansas anymore!" As per your instructions, we have acquired and have begun work on refitting Dorothy's original costume for you. The seller, Mr. Kim of N. Korea, demanded most of the money in the fund, but the darling blue gingham checked short dress finally arrived intact along with a few spare missile parts we transfered over to Happy Days. We have endeavored to match the original fabrics completely while expanding the surface area to match your demanding requirements as to girth. To get an idea of what you might look like, see here: http://www.buycostumes.com/Dorothy-Plus--Adult-Co… Your first fitting is scheduled for July 31st. You can always visit us here, but I'd be happy to helicopter out to your yacht if needed. Burl can ride along if he likes, but he must keep his hands to himself this time. The wig and basket are being prepared in Paris. The little yapping dog, Toto, is proving to be a challenge for us here at UCLA's David C. Copley Center for the Study of Costume Design. There have been some protests about animal abuse. We have ordered additional tasers to deal with this problem. Again, thank you for your wonderful gift to the David C. Copley Center for the Study of Costume Design. After we have filled your request, we shall have a remainder of $10 left over. We understand that this is similar to the amount you have budgeted for Union Tribune salaries this fiscal year. So we consider you most kind. Best wishes always, Mildred T. Thistlebottom Director of Gifts— July 5, 2008 8:42 a.m.
It's Official, If a Bit Silly: We Have a Bear Market. More Disturbing: General Motors Could Go Bankrupt, Says Analyst
When I get down about our economic, environmental, and ethical prospects as a nation, (which is far too frequent), I sing this... Fred's Hedonism Song The world is f***ed so give it up! Hedonism's rational in the face of doom. I'll smoke and drink and live it up! The end of our time is coming soon. Hedonism Gonna get some Hedonism Know I need some Hedonism If it's up to me I'll set myself free I'll smoke and drink and live it up! Hedonism's rational in the face of doom. The world is f***ed so give it up! The end of our time is coming soon. I recommend singing my Hedonism song every time you are feeling disgruntled. Regruntlement begins immediately, and if you sing it long enough you will return to your original pristinely gruntled condition. Best, Fred— July 5, 2008 8:20 a.m.