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Fred Williams

Local Newsweek Correspondent Pleads to Chargers: "Don't Bolt!"

JF is right. "Romantic candles" are dangerous. The scenario plays itself out time and again. I suspect the women instigate the situation more than men, so guys better beware. Here's what happens. Your honey wants a romantic evening, so she fires up candles and places them around the room, puts on some music, and turns off the lights. Together you down a bottle or two of wine, get naked, make love, and fall asleep. As you snore away in buzzed post-coital contentment, those candles continue to burn away. When that adorable old tea-saucer turned candle-holder gets hot enough, it cracks and the candle tumbles over. Hot wax spreads, perhaps onto paper or a drape, and the candle's pretty flame spreads. You don't hear the gentle rustle of flames creeping up the drapes, and as the toxic fumes fill the room your breathing becomes more shallow. When the neighbors' frantic pounding on the door awakens you, you'll stumble about disoriented, opening windows and giving the fire more oxygen. Confused, you grope around in the smoke and heat looking for your clothes. When JF arrives with his crew, he has to pull the half-naked pair out almost against their will. The firemen concentrate first on not letting the blaze spread to adjacent units, and then douse the fire. The paramedics provide oxygen, and refuse the pair's demands to be allowed back in to "save the cat". The cat probably escaped, but everything in the apartment is ruined, and it's difficult to recognize what's left. But the stains from melted candle wax in the carpet serves as a reminder... To all you guys out there, please, please...just after you take off your pants, be sure to snuff out her damn romantic candles. If you wait until after your orgasm, you know you'll probably fall asleep and forget. So let's all do JF and the paramedics a favor, and blow out those candles before we get blown. Best, Fred
— September 5, 2008 8:45 a.m.

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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