Comments by Fred_Williams | San Diego Reader

Fred Williams

Don, I think you are misled: http://www.geocities.com/mbfleur/Works_Catalog_of… The Works Catalog of Hummel does not include what you have alleged...however it does list: Op.101 Premium Overture in Bb 1824 2fl.2ob.2cl.2hor.2trp.2fag.2tromb.timp.str. *Pf. edition(Leipzig、c1826) From which, as an accomplished reader of computer code, I can with full certainly tell you that Johnny "The Hummer" Hummel engaged in "Premium Overture" with two floozies, a pair of obstetricians, two closeted dudes along with each of their ho's, a pair of trespians, two faggotos (a musical instrument of the time), and two dancing "trom boys" who were probably timpling and striding, somewhere in Leipzig in 1824 and wrote it all down in his tell all autobiography "Poof Edition, or "I'm the Hummer, my life with Goethe", released 1826. I submit to you, Mr. Bauder, that my sources are far superior to yours and contain greater detail, and hence ought to be relied upon both implicitly and exclusively in all matters under dispute anywhere. Good day, sir. Fred "Look It Up" Williams Chief of: Bulwark Utilizing Linguistic Leads Synthesizing Harmonies Inspiring Thousands
— October 26, 2008 10:37 a.m.

San Diego tourism weakens

Don, I've not asked Fumber about his skills in playing any musical instruments, however I did notice at the concert that he has no rhythm whatsoever. He probably plays the skin flute herky-jerky, his brow all sweaty, cheeks puffed out and blowing hard. Worse, he might leave a sticky mess all over the floor when he's done. I've heard from Democrats that George Bush is an accomplished skin flute player, and that he really blows big time. Senator Larry Craig, and the Reverend Ted Haggart are well known skin flute devotees who will even play with their instruments at the airport or in church. There are more than a few skin flute players on our very own San Diego City Council. I've been at public meetings where they played in unison, only leaving out poor Donna Frye, who voted no to playing each other's skin flutes while San Diego is in such desperate economic straits. Don, I'm glad to explicate in this manner for you, and would suggest that our tourism industry's coddling by city fathers is an example of skin flute players uniting in a chorus of grunts and groans. The citizens, however have been left limp and abused by this concerted tugging away of our revenues. As a result, low paid service work performed in hotels has dominated us in perverse ways, and we are made to kneel down in subservience to the whims of business travelers. When the sugar-daddy tourists grow tired of our charms, we end up on our backs, lowering our standards, taking anything we can get, desperate to support our struggling families. We've become saggy, neglecting the basics that used to keep us attractive, doing anything to feed our debt addiction. That's the kind of life we will lead if we keep dancing like children being led by trickster skin flute players. So you can see that I don't really care much for skin flute music myself. I don't mind if someone wants to play mine, I'll let them borrow it, but I don't go around begging to play with others' because I'm not a professional politician, tourism booster, or sports subsidies shill.
— October 26, 2008 8:51 a.m.

San Diego tourism weakens

Don, I researched the term "skin flute" online and learned a lot of interesting facts: The original skin flutes were commonly made by carefully scraping the hide off woolly mammoths, shaving away the hair, and peeling the skin back to expose the soft spongy material underneath. Massaging this mammoth piece of skin would cause the blood to flow in, expanding it into a tube. After the skin tube became stiff, ancient cave men and women would rub the shaft using their fingers, sometimes to such a degree that holes would appear. It is unknown whether cave men or cave women were the first to attempt blowing on these skin tubes, but the result was a moaning, grunting or panting noise that they found pleasurable. What came next is well documented by such ancient writers as Petronius, author of the Satyricon. Playing the skin flute emerged into a primary past-time for many as our societies evolved. Young men, even to this day, dream of having their skin flutes played by others. There are videos available online of both women and men vigorously playing skin flutes, but the sound quality is often poor. As to whether any have simultaneously played the bassoon and a skin flute, I've only heard rumors that such things happen in Amsterdam in private shows for wealthy gentlemen. I'm not very musical personally, so I rely on others to play my skin flute. When I convince another to do so for me, I just harmonize the best I can, enjoying the pleasure of playing together. I'm grateful whenever I get my skin flute played, and if you ever try it yourself you'll understand how much fun it is too. Don, I hope this has been educational for you, and that someday soon you will discover the joys of playing with your skin flute. I've gotten years of enjoyment out of mine. You're never too young or too old to enjoy a good session of skin flute, and you might even find that your spouse wants to join in. If you'd like me to send you links to those obscure and difficult to find online sites where they illustrate various individuals both playing skin flutes and having their skin flutes played, I'll send them to you in a private email. I'm happy I can clear these things up for you Don, and provide you with a glimpse of the culture that you've never before seen since you've been so busy with economics and journalism over the years. I'm convinced if more people played with their skin flutes, the world would be a happier place. Best, Fred
— October 26, 2008 6:20 a.m.

San Diego tourism weakens

To all the fans of my writing and music, you can show your appreciation by making a campaign contribution to Stephen Whitburn. He's running against an insider with tons of dirty money, and Stephen needs your help if we're going to turn San Diego around. Go to www.stephenwhitburn.com and click "Contribute". It's that easy to make a big difference to San Diego's future. Thanks, Fred P.s. If you make a donation over $100, I'll personally write up to 1,000 words on the subject of your choice, or write a song just for you. Simply post the date and amount of your contribution to the Whitburn campaign on my Reader Blog, "Abnormal Heights" to let me know that you are supporting Change in San Diego. Tell me what kind of writing you want, and I'll post it within 2 days. Let's win this election. Support Stephen Whitburn in Council District Three!
— October 25, 2008 11:16 a.m.