Aaron Burden / Pexels

I live, but not in myself,

and I have such hope

that I die because I do not die.

1. I no longer live within myself

and I cannot live without God,

for having neither him nor myself

what will life be?

It will be a thousand deaths,

longing for my true life

and dying because I do not die.

1. This life that I live

is no life at all,

and so I die continually

until I live with you;

hear me, my God:

I do not desire this life,

I am dying because I do not die.

1. When I am away from you

what life can I have

except to endure

the bitterest death known?

I pity myself,

for I go on and on living,

dying because I do not die.

1. A fish that leaves the water

has this relief:

the dying it endures

ends at last in death.

What death can equal my pitiable life?

For the longer I live, the more drawn out is my dying.

1. When I try to find relief

seeing you in the Sacrament,

I find this greater sorrow:

I cannot enjoy you wholly.

All things are affliction

since I do not see you as I desire,

and I die because I do not die.

1. And if I rejoice, Lord,

in the hope of seeing you,

yet seeing I can lose you

doubles my sorrow.

Living in such fear

and hoping as I hope,

I die because I do not die.

1. Lift me from this death,

my God, and give me life;

do not hold me bound

with these bonds so strong;

see how I long to see you;

my wretchedness is so complete

that I die because I do not die.

1. I will cry out for death

and mourn my living

while I am held here

for my sins.

O my God, when will it be

that I can truly say:

now I live because I do not die?

St. John of the Cross

St. John of the Cross (Juan de Yepes y Álvarez) (1542-1591) was a Spanish poet and Catholic mystic and priest. A member of the Carmelite order and one of the 36 Doctors of the Church, he is commonly referred to as the “Mystical Doctor” because of his profound writings on Christian mysticism. Besides his poems, St. John was also well known for his correspondence with fellow Carmelite St. Teresa of Avila. His poetry is considered the high point of mystical Spanish literature and he is considered one of the masters of Spanish poetry.