Parking ticket? A message for Mary

Mary C. was in a bit of a hurry. She parked curbside and hurried in.

Next morning she came out and found a used Social Security envelope under her driver’s side windshield wiper. Somebody had scrawled on it with a Sharpie.

“Taking up 2-car spot. JERK OFF! DUMB ASS!”

“Huh,” she said. “Guess I was careless.”

“I would have written the same thing,” says my friend Maggie. “I would have been so mad.”

But what hits me is the unbridled nature of the anger. The lack of any civility. Couldn’t the guy (gal?) have just said “Please think of others when you park. Space is limited. Thank you.”

Are we all angry all of the time? Are we all just a parking spot away from a major meltdown?

“I have no doubts that anger is on the increase, especially on the roads,” says Eugene G. Bruno, a trial lawyer based in Mission Valley, “and it causes accidents.” He should know. “Car accident attorney Bruno aggressively represents victims of auto accidents,” says his website.

Eugene Bruno

Why is anger on the increase? “One thing,” he says. “Stress. Everyone is stressed. They’re working harder just to keep up. There’s more congestion on the freeways. It’s not a rich vs. poor thing. I get clients equally from La Jolla and City Heights. Also, being insulated behind your car’s closed windows, you are separated from humanity. Anyone frustrating you becomes the enemy.”

Anecdotally, he says, younger male drivers are the main initiators of road-rage incidents. Like the pizza delivery driver in El Cajon who got in the way of a street race. “Next traffic light, they run out, bang on his hood, and when he opens his door, they punch him out.”

It’s mostly not physical violence, he says, but still dangerous, like drivers angered at being cut off — as happened to one client — then roaring ahead on the shoulder and slamming on the brakes — “brake-checking” — causing a fender-bender.

Bruno doesn’t think much of the theory that it’s healthier to indulge your emotions, let them hang out. Anger rooms, where you can throw things, smash plates, have become all the, uh, rage around the world, including San Diego. Busting stuff gets rid of the pressure, the theory goes, so you can take a deep breath and get on with your life. “But how do you handle it next time?” asks Bruno. “In my practice, it is carelessness, texting, that causes many accidents. And that can lead to road rage, and sometimes terrible injuries. Flip-offs, intimidation, preventing people from changing lanes. Nobody intends to cause an accident, just to scare the other party. But it doesn’t always work out that way.”

Lawyer Bruno doesn’t know how to pull back from this rising tide of resentment. But to reduce risks in a road rage situation, he says, “Stay calm, avoid direct eye contact, call the police if necessary, and have a dash cam, which has proved incredibly effective as evidence, especially with actions like brake-checking. Until we get a deeper solution, that’s the best advice I can give.”