Pictured: Smiley, Wal-Mart’s antidepressant/pain reliever. “So far,” says Wal-Mart head of drugs Bill Popper, “our research suggests that it’s only about half as powerful as oxycodone. But it’s twice as addictive, so people won’t mind taking more. And because we work with our suppliers in China, it’s much less expensive. The same goes for Lothario, our Viagra substitute, which isn’t quite as effective in correcting erectile dysfunction, but does tend to speed up climax. Sex will still be a little disappointing, but at least it’ll be over quicker.”
  • Pictured: Smiley, Wal-Mart’s antidepressant/pain reliever. “So far,” says Wal-Mart head of drugs Bill Popper, “our research suggests that it’s only about half as powerful as oxycodone. But it’s twice as addictive, so people won’t mind taking more. And because we work with our suppliers in China, it’s much less expensive. The same goes for Lothario, our Viagra substitute, which isn’t quite as effective in correcting erectile dysfunction, but does tend to speed up climax. Sex will still be a little disappointing, but at least it’ll be over quicker.”
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Pictured: Smiley, Wal-Mart’s antidepressant/pain reliever. “So far,” says Wal-Mart head of drugs Bill Popper, “our research suggests that it’s only about half as powerful as oxycodone. But it’s twice as addictive, so people won’t mind taking more. And because we work with our suppliers in China, it’s much less expensive. The same goes for Lothario, our Viagra substitute, which isn’t quite as effective in correcting erectile dysfunction, but does tend to speed up climax. Sex will still be a little disappointing, but at least it’ll be over quicker.”

  • Letter to Editor
  • Pin it

Comments

dwbat Sept. 21, 2018 @ 8:44 p.m.

I heard Walmart will lease the boarded-up former 7-Eleven across from CVS in North Park. They are getting a cheap deal, as nobody wants to rent it anyway ;-)

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Julie Stalmer Sept. 25, 2018 @ 2:08 p.m.

My mom's provider switched to Walmart RX. Nightmare. They were so horrible in too many ways to count. Incompetent at best. Crooked as hell at worse. I talked to corporate about things and they refused to name who was in charge of that arm of their business. I told them to start with the list of who sits at the big table when they have in-house meetings and work from there. I waited on hold until they got me a name. I contacted them repeatedly and never heard back, not even one of those auto form e-mails. So I can only imagine how something like this would go. Side note: corporate has nice hold music, classical, classy. The hold music for old people to wait to speak to someone about their meds is over-the-top loud and obnoxious. They could never quite explain why the same company wouldn't have the same hold music and why they chose to go that route for elderly folks.

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dwbat Sept. 25, 2018 @ 5:15 p.m.

You DO know that article is a spoof, right?

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Julie Stalmer Sept. 25, 2018 @ 7:37 p.m.

Yes. It just made me think of how horrid they are at packing pills.

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dwbat Sept. 25, 2018 @ 9:31 p.m.

UnitedHealthcare keeps badgering me to use their online Rx, but I refuse. They aren't looking out for the patients' needs; it's just a revenue booster.

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