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There are bands other than Green Day and Blink 182

And there is no Santa

The potty-mouthed pop-punk band from Poway, blink-182
The potty-mouthed pop-punk band from Poway, blink-182

Dear Hipster: As far as comparative Christmas-ruining is concerned, what would be worse — accidentally telling your four-year-old cousins the truth about Santa Claus or forgetting to get your boy- or girlfriend a Christmas present? — Alex

Maybe I’ve always been an irreverent little hipster not prone to stand on ceremony, but I remember laughing my five-year-old ass off when Father Hipster used the phrase “fat, fictitious, elf” to shatter my childhood illusions of mystical, chimney-shimmying gift-givers. In hipster terms, the former is like finding out there are bands other than Green Day and Blink 182, i.e. “growing up.” The latter is more like when you find out all your favorite Zeppelin songs are ripped off from something else, i.e. potentially relationship ending. I’m just going to assume you managed both of these feats this year, and say you should worry more about the latter.

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The potty-mouthed pop-punk band from Poway, blink-182
The potty-mouthed pop-punk band from Poway, blink-182

Dear Hipster: As far as comparative Christmas-ruining is concerned, what would be worse — accidentally telling your four-year-old cousins the truth about Santa Claus or forgetting to get your boy- or girlfriend a Christmas present? — Alex

Maybe I’ve always been an irreverent little hipster not prone to stand on ceremony, but I remember laughing my five-year-old ass off when Father Hipster used the phrase “fat, fictitious, elf” to shatter my childhood illusions of mystical, chimney-shimmying gift-givers. In hipster terms, the former is like finding out there are bands other than Green Day and Blink 182, i.e. “growing up.” The latter is more like when you find out all your favorite Zeppelin songs are ripped off from something else, i.e. potentially relationship ending. I’m just going to assume you managed both of these feats this year, and say you should worry more about the latter.

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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