Fallout Shelter, a video game that adults can play, or not play.
  • Fallout Shelter, a video game that adults can play, or not play.
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Dear Hipster:

I, like many Android users, am obsessed with Fallout Shelter now that the game has made its way beyond the world of iOs. Plants vs. Zombies and Clash of Clans both held me captive in the past. I don’t necessarily think gaming is a waste since I enjoy it and my free time is mine to do with as I please, but I have nagging feelings that a 36-year-old might have better things to do. I can’t decide if baseless guilt lies behind these doubts, or something real. Help?

— Otherwise Responsible Adult

In the early 1960s, a mathematician named Paul Cooper theorized a rapid-transit network composed entirely of perfectly straight tunnels drilled through the center of the Earth. Each tunnel would connect two antipodal cities. With all the air removed from the tunnels, people could theoretically freefall through a perfect vacuum, accelerating for the first half of the journey, and thereafter decelerating at a rate equal to the original acceleration. Moreover, Cooper calculated the journey between any two points on Earth would take exactly 42 minutes, regardless of the distance travelled. Imagine if Cooper had instead played Fallout Shelter eight hours a day.

Magic vacuum tunnel? Never heard of it.

Now, imagine that he had limited his game-playing time to a level that any perfectly reasonable grown-ass man with even a vestige of self-control ought to be able to manage without neglecting the more important aspects of his life. Dig?

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