It’s time to take golf seriously. I don’t mean as a sport. I don’t mean the tournaments or the country clubs or the ugly clothes. None of that. I’m talking about murder on the manicured killing fields known to the simple-minded as golf courses. Know this: dead people litter the fairways of America. Follows are the results of one internet search:
The Monitor (McAllen, Texas), April 29, 2015. “The body of a man was found Wednesday night in a wooded area near the Palm View Golf Course, police say.
“At about 6:30 p.m., a passerby alerted police to the body, which had apparent gunshot wounds to its lower extremities, police chief Victor Rodriguez said.
“‘There were clear signs of foul play,’ Rodriguez said. ‘It appears he was dumped at this location.’”
Las Vegas Review Journal, April 28, 2015. “A woman found dead on a Henderson golf course Tuesday killed herself, according to police.
“Maintenance workers found her lifeless body about 6 a.m. at Legacy Golf Course.... She had an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound.”
Washington Post, April 27, 2015. “A man found dead near a burning car at a golf course on Sunday was trying to get the vehicle out of the mud when the engine caught fire, according to Prince George’s County police.
“Authorities are still investigating why Frank Andrew Bartee, 70, wound up at the Enterprise Golf Course in Mitchellville, but don’t believe foul play is involved in his death.”
Bucks County Courier Times (Levittown, PA), April 25, 2015. “The body of a man was found hanging from a tree at the Bensalem Country Club on Saturday. Police were called to the Brown Avenue club at about 4:30 p.m. for the report of a found body.”
New York Post, April 2, 2015. “A dead body was found floating Thursday alongside the Marine Park Golf Course in Brooklyn, shocking golfers out enjoying one of the first pleasant days of the season.
“‘They’re going to retrieve the body,’ a worker in the pro shop told the Post shortly before 6 p.m. ‘It’s in the creek on the eighth hole of the course. It apparently came up with the tide.’”
KCCI News (Des Moines, Iowa), March 31, 2015. “Naked man found dead on golf course. Minnesota authorities were called to the Sandhill River Golf Course in Fertile about 4:10 p.m. Monday and found the body of 35-year-old Andrew Springer.
“The sheriff’s office says preliminary autopsy results show no signs of foul play and that Springer apparently died of hypothermia.”
FoxNews, January 18, 2015. “A body found floating in a pond on a golf course in California has been identified as the AIG executive who disappeared two weeks ago while attending a work conference in the area.
“The Riverside County Coroner’s Office confirmed that it was the body of Omar Meza on Friday, according to KESQ. The cause of death is under investigation and it is not clear how long Meza was in the pond.
“The wife of the AIG Financial Distributors vice president, Diane Meza, said he was dropped off by an Uber driver at the wrong hotel. Surveillance footage on the property shows Omar Meza walking out of the hotel lobby. Authorities later found Omar’s jacket neatly folded on the resort’s golf course over the weekend, along with his wallet....
“‘People have to realize the property is 48 acres big and there are numerous bodies of water on the property,’ Lt. David Teets, who leads the Sheriff’s Media Information Bureau, told KESQ.”
KETV (Council Bluffs, Iowa), September 15, 2014. “Authorities say they’ve identified a body found at a golf course as that of a man who had been missing since August 29.
“On Monday police identified the man as Josey L. Janssen, 33, of Council Bluffs. His body was found in a pond at the Council Bluffs Country Club Golf Course on Friday, police said. Janssen was reported missing by his family on September 3.
“According to Council Bluffs police, investigators determined Janssen was last seen late at night on August 29 in the area of Lighthouse Lounge, walking toward his home. Investigators think he may have attempted to take a different route.”
Lake County Record-Bee (Lakeport, CA), August 5, 2014. “The body of an unidentified man was discovered in a pond at Hidden Valley Lake Golf Course....”
CBS Baltimore, January 22, 2014. “Anne Arundel County Police say a woman’s body has been found on a golf course in Arnold.
“Police say a man walking his dog found the body after 7 a.m. Wednesday near the 15th hole tee box at Bay Hills Golf Club in Arnold.
“It is unknown how long the body was there....”