Quantcast
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Information and analysis

No Alone Sports magazine. How can this be?

“Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.”
“Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.”

Follows is an in-depth analysis of NFL preseason magazines, pointing toward the absurdity of buying a magazine written months ago, printed weeks ago, purporting to give the reader inside information on teams that haven’t settled contracts or opened training camps. Step over here, Pilgrim, and put your money on Indianapolis to win Super Bowl 49.

Nothing wrong with long-term future bets. In fact, I’ll bank your bet on the winner of the 2032 presidential election and set the line right here, right now. Sasha Obama at 5 to 1. You’re free to take either side; however, the bet must be for $1000 or more and I’ll hold the money until the result is known.

But, I digress in the service of easy money. Returning to the NFL prognostication column and preseason NFL magazines. The straightforward way to begin is to find a newsstand and cruise the racks. But, once I transported self to big-city newsstand, my mission quickly devolved into the usual: where can I find the latest issue of Light Bulb Collector? A big-city newsstand is an invitation to frolic with serendipity.

At least it used to be. Now it’s like visiting an Atari Museum. It’s looking at something that’s withering into extinction, but not quite there yet. Quirky, marginal, borderline, mainstream magazines have mutated and fled to the internet. You’ll find bulbcollector.com easily enough, but one sobs at the emptiness left behind by the likes of International Hair Route Magazine.

By the way, I’ve never seen a magazine covering Alone Sports. When I was a kid I spent a large chunk of my sports time playing alone sports. Many hours standing in the driveway shooting baskets. The tactile fascination of a basketball and its release, the play-by-play broadcast inside my head, the mystery of learning something new, the patience to refine a skill when no one is looking. Running can be a great alone sport — cycling, too. Learning how to shoot pool, that’s a quality alone activity. Playing tennis with a wall as opponent, Frisbee golf, surfing, hiking, fishing...yet no Alone Sports magazine. How can this be?

But, I digress in the service of providing you with an investment opportunity. Now, onto preseason NFL magazines.

“Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.” — King Alfonso X of Castile, a.k.a., Alfonso the Wise, 1221–1284.

Al would surely agree that it’s never too late for handy hints. In that spirit I am offering a safety tip, to wit: how to act when you’re drunk. Many men go through a period of drinking, of getting drunk; the duration lasts from one ugly night to a lifetime. It would be nice if we didn’t drink to excess, but that’s not how it works. Therefore, when drinking, don’t get so drunk to where you can’t track what’s going on around you. That’s when the gushing of blood and breaking of bones come in. Above all, most of all, the be all and end all, don’t drive an automobile when you’re drunk.

The killing or maiming of self and others argument against driving drunk hasn’t worked because young men believe they are immortal and thinking of others is an unpracticed skill. So, forget that and think about this: Drunk-driving laws are popular, they are enforced. Penalties are draconian. It’s a house game and only a fool plays against the house.

But, I digress in the service of public safety. While we’re here, be happy that wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, you can rest easy in the knowledge that you don’t know hate. I will forever remember the moment I saw it in the buff. It was a winter Sunday afternoon. I’m in Reno attending a friend’s funeral. He was a popular guy: there must have been 50 of us ringed around his open gravesite. My friend’s ex-wife and all three of his grown children (family he hadn’t spoken to in decades) traveled 1500 miles in order to spit on his coffin.

All right, okay, let’s get to it. The heart-stopping, eye-popping, foot-stomping, hand-clapping, mouth-watering, back-breaking, arm-twisting, foot-dragging, knee-jerking, stomach-turning, lip-smacking, mind-bending, neck-twisting, supremely boffo NFL preseason is upon us.

In celebration of this event, I have purchased the 2014 NFL Preview edition of ProFootball. Inside are team by team 2013 records, 2013 player stats, and so much more.

While shopping for NFL preview magazines I also picked up Mud & Obstacle with its compelling cover-splashed feature, “Dirty Running.” Also Lacrosse with its “Tufts. Best Offense Ever.” And, Kung Fu Tai Chi. “When Qigong Goes to War” and “Tai Chi Heavy Weapons.”

It’s going to be a great afternoon.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Native Americans who rocked the world

Stevie Salas, FreeMartin, City Windows, Charles Burton Blues Band, Army of Love
Next Article

Wall of Moms MAGA?

Non-profit expands efforts to include stopping flow of drugs to kids
“Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.”
“Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.”

Follows is an in-depth analysis of NFL preseason magazines, pointing toward the absurdity of buying a magazine written months ago, printed weeks ago, purporting to give the reader inside information on teams that haven’t settled contracts or opened training camps. Step over here, Pilgrim, and put your money on Indianapolis to win Super Bowl 49.

Nothing wrong with long-term future bets. In fact, I’ll bank your bet on the winner of the 2032 presidential election and set the line right here, right now. Sasha Obama at 5 to 1. You’re free to take either side; however, the bet must be for $1000 or more and I’ll hold the money until the result is known.

But, I digress in the service of easy money. Returning to the NFL prognostication column and preseason NFL magazines. The straightforward way to begin is to find a newsstand and cruise the racks. But, once I transported self to big-city newsstand, my mission quickly devolved into the usual: where can I find the latest issue of Light Bulb Collector? A big-city newsstand is an invitation to frolic with serendipity.

At least it used to be. Now it’s like visiting an Atari Museum. It’s looking at something that’s withering into extinction, but not quite there yet. Quirky, marginal, borderline, mainstream magazines have mutated and fled to the internet. You’ll find bulbcollector.com easily enough, but one sobs at the emptiness left behind by the likes of International Hair Route Magazine.

By the way, I’ve never seen a magazine covering Alone Sports. When I was a kid I spent a large chunk of my sports time playing alone sports. Many hours standing in the driveway shooting baskets. The tactile fascination of a basketball and its release, the play-by-play broadcast inside my head, the mystery of learning something new, the patience to refine a skill when no one is looking. Running can be a great alone sport — cycling, too. Learning how to shoot pool, that’s a quality alone activity. Playing tennis with a wall as opponent, Frisbee golf, surfing, hiking, fishing...yet no Alone Sports magazine. How can this be?

But, I digress in the service of providing you with an investment opportunity. Now, onto preseason NFL magazines.

“Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.” — King Alfonso X of Castile, a.k.a., Alfonso the Wise, 1221–1284.

Al would surely agree that it’s never too late for handy hints. In that spirit I am offering a safety tip, to wit: how to act when you’re drunk. Many men go through a period of drinking, of getting drunk; the duration lasts from one ugly night to a lifetime. It would be nice if we didn’t drink to excess, but that’s not how it works. Therefore, when drinking, don’t get so drunk to where you can’t track what’s going on around you. That’s when the gushing of blood and breaking of bones come in. Above all, most of all, the be all and end all, don’t drive an automobile when you’re drunk.

The killing or maiming of self and others argument against driving drunk hasn’t worked because young men believe they are immortal and thinking of others is an unpracticed skill. So, forget that and think about this: Drunk-driving laws are popular, they are enforced. Penalties are draconian. It’s a house game and only a fool plays against the house.

But, I digress in the service of public safety. While we’re here, be happy that wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, you can rest easy in the knowledge that you don’t know hate. I will forever remember the moment I saw it in the buff. It was a winter Sunday afternoon. I’m in Reno attending a friend’s funeral. He was a popular guy: there must have been 50 of us ringed around his open gravesite. My friend’s ex-wife and all three of his grown children (family he hadn’t spoken to in decades) traveled 1500 miles in order to spit on his coffin.

All right, okay, let’s get to it. The heart-stopping, eye-popping, foot-stomping, hand-clapping, mouth-watering, back-breaking, arm-twisting, foot-dragging, knee-jerking, stomach-turning, lip-smacking, mind-bending, neck-twisting, supremely boffo NFL preseason is upon us.

In celebration of this event, I have purchased the 2014 NFL Preview edition of ProFootball. Inside are team by team 2013 records, 2013 player stats, and so much more.

While shopping for NFL preview magazines I also picked up Mud & Obstacle with its compelling cover-splashed feature, “Dirty Running.” Also Lacrosse with its “Tufts. Best Offense Ever.” And, Kung Fu Tai Chi. “When Qigong Goes to War” and “Tai Chi Heavy Weapons.”

It’s going to be a great afternoon.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Poppin’ Padres petition for permanent props in stands

The Crowd Goes Mild!
Next Article

The glamour and crime of Tijuana

Club Campestre abduction, cross-border prostitution, Russian-owned gym, TJ's new night scene
Comments
0

Be the first to leave a comment.

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer News — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close