4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Random thoughts on the 2014 People's Choice Awards

What are you cretins thinking?

Aren't the people's choice awards handed out every Monday morning when the weekend box office receipts hit the trades?

It’s been years since I sat down and watched a telecast of The People’s Choice Awards in its entirety. With this weekend’s live Golden Globes blog-along coming up — and the absence of a Wednesday night screening — I figured why not get in the spirit of the season by logging the first awards show of 2014.

Two broke girls host a low-rent popularity contest. Having never watched the sitcom, I’ll gladly cut Kat Denning some slack for her memorable work in Two Days in the Valley and Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. (The bloody-smudge manner in which she applies lipstick is also a major turn on.) In spite of the lame show opening — a Billy Crystal Oscar video rip-off featuring cameos by Michael C. Hall, Xtina, and many faces that failed to register — it’s unlikely the duo will perform any worse than Amy Poehler and Tina Fey on this Sunday’s Globes.

They couldn’t get Larry Fine or Jerry Lewis to act as the evening’s first presenter, so they had to settle for Sean Hayes.

In the past, voting was limited to one “yea” per person. According to our hostesses, this year over 700 million votes were cast. Can this mean that 700 million individuals clicked to vote for their favorites or are Adam Sandler’s mother’s fingers worn down to nubs? This year’s victory, based solely on his work in Grown Ups 2, was Sandler’s fourth consecutive win as Favorite Comedic Performer. Has there been a more damning accusation leveled against the current state of movie comedy? What are you cretins thinking?

"Who cares if my movie sucks? I fleeced you suckers out of $246 million bucks!"

While accepting the award, Sandler proceeded to thank his followers by reading a grammatically botched letter, allegedly sent in by one of his minions, that reduced them to a gaggle of drooling retardates. Remember this when asked to plunk down another sawbuck for Grown Ups 3.

Is it the will of the people that winners be determined on the basis of a celebrities’ willingness to pick up his or her award in person? How many crowd shots of Chris Colfer did it take before realizing that he wasn’t going home empty-handed?

Here’s a clue: If there are a plethora of cutaways to Sandler while Zach Galifianakis, James Franco, Bradley Cooper, and Chris Rock — his fellow nominees in the category of Favorite Comedic Movie Actor — are nowhere in sight, it’s because the winner was predetermined and the other four “contenders” were told to stay home. Suspense was further quashed when Gravity star Sandra Bullock took to the stage to accept her prize for Favorite Actress. At this moment, long before the final statuette was handed out, the booth announcer revealed Bullock was accepting the award for the Best Dramatic Movie of 2014.

Allison Janney was on hand to present an award.

Was it my set or was everyone on the show sporting an orange-ish Circus Peanut glow? (Allison Janney could have co-starred as Jackie Robinson’s mitt in 42.) Anyone looking to subsidize their income should seriously consider opening a chain of spray tan salons in Beverly Hills.

Why is it that on The People’s Choice Awards it the film’s stars, not the producers, who pick up the award?

Douchechill moment of the night: Shemar Moore practically drooling all over Malin Akerman while present the award for Best On-Screen Chemistry.

Hope to see you this Sunday night for the live Globes blog!

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Mainly Mozart scoops up idle musicians

Our gain – LA Philharmonic, San Francisco Symphony, Metropolitan Opera Orchestra, National Symphony
Next Article

Rejoinder to homeless defender

San Diego County ranks as one of the worst anywhere

Aren't the people's choice awards handed out every Monday morning when the weekend box office receipts hit the trades?

It’s been years since I sat down and watched a telecast of The People’s Choice Awards in its entirety. With this weekend’s live Golden Globes blog-along coming up — and the absence of a Wednesday night screening — I figured why not get in the spirit of the season by logging the first awards show of 2014.

Two broke girls host a low-rent popularity contest. Having never watched the sitcom, I’ll gladly cut Kat Denning some slack for her memorable work in Two Days in the Valley and Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. (The bloody-smudge manner in which she applies lipstick is also a major turn on.) In spite of the lame show opening — a Billy Crystal Oscar video rip-off featuring cameos by Michael C. Hall, Xtina, and many faces that failed to register — it’s unlikely the duo will perform any worse than Amy Poehler and Tina Fey on this Sunday’s Globes.

They couldn’t get Larry Fine or Jerry Lewis to act as the evening’s first presenter, so they had to settle for Sean Hayes.

In the past, voting was limited to one “yea” per person. According to our hostesses, this year over 700 million votes were cast. Can this mean that 700 million individuals clicked to vote for their favorites or are Adam Sandler’s mother’s fingers worn down to nubs? This year’s victory, based solely on his work in Grown Ups 2, was Sandler’s fourth consecutive win as Favorite Comedic Performer. Has there been a more damning accusation leveled against the current state of movie comedy? What are you cretins thinking?

"Who cares if my movie sucks? I fleeced you suckers out of $246 million bucks!"

While accepting the award, Sandler proceeded to thank his followers by reading a grammatically botched letter, allegedly sent in by one of his minions, that reduced them to a gaggle of drooling retardates. Remember this when asked to plunk down another sawbuck for Grown Ups 3.

Is it the will of the people that winners be determined on the basis of a celebrities’ willingness to pick up his or her award in person? How many crowd shots of Chris Colfer did it take before realizing that he wasn’t going home empty-handed?

Here’s a clue: If there are a plethora of cutaways to Sandler while Zach Galifianakis, James Franco, Bradley Cooper, and Chris Rock — his fellow nominees in the category of Favorite Comedic Movie Actor — are nowhere in sight, it’s because the winner was predetermined and the other four “contenders” were told to stay home. Suspense was further quashed when Gravity star Sandra Bullock took to the stage to accept her prize for Favorite Actress. At this moment, long before the final statuette was handed out, the booth announcer revealed Bullock was accepting the award for the Best Dramatic Movie of 2014.

Allison Janney was on hand to present an award.

Was it my set or was everyone on the show sporting an orange-ish Circus Peanut glow? (Allison Janney could have co-starred as Jackie Robinson’s mitt in 42.) Anyone looking to subsidize their income should seriously consider opening a chain of spray tan salons in Beverly Hills.

Why is it that on The People’s Choice Awards it the film’s stars, not the producers, who pick up the award?

Douchechill moment of the night: Shemar Moore practically drooling all over Malin Akerman while present the award for Best On-Screen Chemistry.

Hope to see you this Sunday night for the live Globes blog!

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Mainly Mozart scoops up idle musicians

Our gain – LA Philharmonic, San Francisco Symphony, Metropolitan Opera Orchestra, National Symphony
Next Article

Northminster Presbyterian: to change our hearts

We often don’t view God in the way we probably could or should.
Comments
1

You're doing the Lord's work my friend.

Jan. 12, 2014

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close