Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

On the Rocks

Leave your good shirt in the hamper.
Leave your good shirt in the hamper.
Place

On the Rocks

656 E Street, Chula Vista

Forget what you know about first dates. Cancel your reservation at the gastropub. Leave your good shirt in the hamper. Don’t even think about manscaping.

If there’s a chance you’ll be engaging in prolonged amorous congress with a perfect stranger, there are a few things you’re going to want to know about them first, and a full Saturday night of Back to the Eighties karaoke at On the Rocks Cocktails in Chula Vista will elucidate all of them.

For starters, how does your beau nouveau drink? With mini-pitchers starting at $4.75 and fierce wells at $3.50, you’ll quickly learn if you should anticipate notes of bile and shame on your prospective paramour’s breath every Sunday (and occasional Thursday) morning. Conversely, their endearing but firm two-drink limit may ultimately transpose your love of a good (cheap) bourbon into a ruthlessly scapegoated “drinking problem.” Avoid this.

Sponsored
Sponsored

How old is she, really? A lady never advertises her age, but there’s no arguing with the numbers behind a casual mention of her dormitory days when “The Killing Moon” drops. You dog.

Is he man enough? Take note of your suitor’s demeanor when he meets you at the dodgy strip-mall bar hidden behind the Denny’s. Do his lower eyelids tense in fear when he sees the 20+ security cameras leering at the bar topped with handbills declaring (perhaps self-consciously): “Just a fun safe place to party”? If so, split. He’s a bedwetter.

Is your date a genuinely fun person? Because that’s the whole point, isn’t it? Do you really want to be emotionally responsible for someone who can’t cut loose for a group massacre of “Pop Muzik” (seriously, they have 16 cordless mics) while tossing around bits from the lounge’s assortment of funny hats, boas, and tambourines? The answer is no.

Finally, is your gentleman caller a cheapskate? On the Rocks (celebrating three years on March 25, by the by) is about as grassroots as it gets, so a snubbed gratuity here only means disgrace when he gets around to taking you on a “real” date. Don’t be a victim.

All told, you really can’t go wrong with a bar whose claim to fame is an annual pimp and ho party, but play your cards right and you may even waive the cardinal rule of first dates altogether. Just don’t forget to call.

Capacity: 115 people

Hours: 10 a.m. to 2 a.m. daily

Cash only

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Extended family dynamics

Many of our neighbors live in the house they grew up in
Leave your good shirt in the hamper.
Leave your good shirt in the hamper.
Place

On the Rocks

656 E Street, Chula Vista

Forget what you know about first dates. Cancel your reservation at the gastropub. Leave your good shirt in the hamper. Don’t even think about manscaping.

If there’s a chance you’ll be engaging in prolonged amorous congress with a perfect stranger, there are a few things you’re going to want to know about them first, and a full Saturday night of Back to the Eighties karaoke at On the Rocks Cocktails in Chula Vista will elucidate all of them.

For starters, how does your beau nouveau drink? With mini-pitchers starting at $4.75 and fierce wells at $3.50, you’ll quickly learn if you should anticipate notes of bile and shame on your prospective paramour’s breath every Sunday (and occasional Thursday) morning. Conversely, their endearing but firm two-drink limit may ultimately transpose your love of a good (cheap) bourbon into a ruthlessly scapegoated “drinking problem.” Avoid this.

Sponsored
Sponsored

How old is she, really? A lady never advertises her age, but there’s no arguing with the numbers behind a casual mention of her dormitory days when “The Killing Moon” drops. You dog.

Is he man enough? Take note of your suitor’s demeanor when he meets you at the dodgy strip-mall bar hidden behind the Denny’s. Do his lower eyelids tense in fear when he sees the 20+ security cameras leering at the bar topped with handbills declaring (perhaps self-consciously): “Just a fun safe place to party”? If so, split. He’s a bedwetter.

Is your date a genuinely fun person? Because that’s the whole point, isn’t it? Do you really want to be emotionally responsible for someone who can’t cut loose for a group massacre of “Pop Muzik” (seriously, they have 16 cordless mics) while tossing around bits from the lounge’s assortment of funny hats, boas, and tambourines? The answer is no.

Finally, is your gentleman caller a cheapskate? On the Rocks (celebrating three years on March 25, by the by) is about as grassroots as it gets, so a snubbed gratuity here only means disgrace when he gets around to taking you on a “real” date. Don’t be a victim.

All told, you really can’t go wrong with a bar whose claim to fame is an annual pimp and ho party, but play your cards right and you may even waive the cardinal rule of first dates altogether. Just don’t forget to call.

Capacity: 115 people

Hours: 10 a.m. to 2 a.m. daily

Cash only

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Morricone Youth, Berkley Hart, Dark Entities, Black Heart Procession, Monsters Of Hip-Hop

Live movie soundtracks, birthdays and more in Balboa Park, Grantville, Oceanside, Little Italy
Next Article

The vicious cycle of Escondido's abandoned buildings

City staff blames owners for raising rents
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader