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Body Language is 80% of Communication

Dez, 25-year-old new father, makes the most of his not-a-dream-job.  

What is your dream job?

My dream job would be no job. It would be to just gig my band, do Chi-Gong, martial arts and spend time with my girlfriend and our six-month-old daughter. But I would also like to own a café one day.

So what job do you currently hold?

I have a few jobs. I work at a coffee shop four days a week, three closing shifts 8:00pm to 2:00am or 3:00am, and one opening shift on Saturday mornings. I also work at a candy store once a week for about five hours. And then, I teach Chi-Gong once a week for two hours.

Do you like to work at the coffee shop?

I don’t necessarily like the work, but if I have to work, I want to work at a café. I really like the environment of coffee shops.

Alright. It’s not your dream job. Are there any other advantages?

Yes, for sure. It pays the bills. That’s a big one. But also, my boss is totally supportive of my goals outside of work. The schedule works great, too. I have band practice a couple days a week and a residency gig where we play a Saturday happy hour every week. I’ve been able to organize my schedule around the things I want to do.

I’ve also been learning a lot about how operations work at the coffee shop. That’s something I’ll need to know when I have my own cafe.

Ok, and what don’t you like about the work?

I don’t like working alone back there, especially during a rush. When it’s just me on the schedule, and I have to deal with all the drink orders and the food orders by myself, it can be really overwhelming. It gets frustrating, and I think to myself, ‘Why doesn’t he just schedule someone else?’ But I have to accept it. It’s his business, and he runs it the way he thinks is best.

What’s your secret to maintaining this kind of acceptance?

Well, I think it’s important to have personal goals outside your job. A lot of people seem to get stuck on the idea of ‘I hate my job,’ or ‘My job is keeping me from my dreams,’ but I think we limit ourselves. If you make time for your dreams no matter what your situation is, then you’ll start to see how even a non-dream job can help you achieve them.

For me, practicing Chi-Gong and martial arts helps me to empty my mind and accept those moments when I least like my job. Practicing a calm and accepting mind is a great start. Because in the big picture, the job really is helping me move further toward my goals.

What advice can you give those of us who don’t practice Chi-Gong and so might not be great at accepting the difficult moments?

Act as if. Sometimes when I can’t quite release all my frustrations, I smile and act as if everything is ok. Body language is 80 percent of communication, and pretending can actually turn the moment around and transform it into a positive one.

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Dez, 25-year-old new father, makes the most of his not-a-dream-job.  

What is your dream job?

My dream job would be no job. It would be to just gig my band, do Chi-Gong, martial arts and spend time with my girlfriend and our six-month-old daughter. But I would also like to own a café one day.

So what job do you currently hold?

I have a few jobs. I work at a coffee shop four days a week, three closing shifts 8:00pm to 2:00am or 3:00am, and one opening shift on Saturday mornings. I also work at a candy store once a week for about five hours. And then, I teach Chi-Gong once a week for two hours.

Do you like to work at the coffee shop?

I don’t necessarily like the work, but if I have to work, I want to work at a café. I really like the environment of coffee shops.

Alright. It’s not your dream job. Are there any other advantages?

Yes, for sure. It pays the bills. That’s a big one. But also, my boss is totally supportive of my goals outside of work. The schedule works great, too. I have band practice a couple days a week and a residency gig where we play a Saturday happy hour every week. I’ve been able to organize my schedule around the things I want to do.

I’ve also been learning a lot about how operations work at the coffee shop. That’s something I’ll need to know when I have my own cafe.

Ok, and what don’t you like about the work?

I don’t like working alone back there, especially during a rush. When it’s just me on the schedule, and I have to deal with all the drink orders and the food orders by myself, it can be really overwhelming. It gets frustrating, and I think to myself, ‘Why doesn’t he just schedule someone else?’ But I have to accept it. It’s his business, and he runs it the way he thinks is best.

What’s your secret to maintaining this kind of acceptance?

Well, I think it’s important to have personal goals outside your job. A lot of people seem to get stuck on the idea of ‘I hate my job,’ or ‘My job is keeping me from my dreams,’ but I think we limit ourselves. If you make time for your dreams no matter what your situation is, then you’ll start to see how even a non-dream job can help you achieve them.

For me, practicing Chi-Gong and martial arts helps me to empty my mind and accept those moments when I least like my job. Practicing a calm and accepting mind is a great start. Because in the big picture, the job really is helping me move further toward my goals.

What advice can you give those of us who don’t practice Chi-Gong and so might not be great at accepting the difficult moments?

Act as if. Sometimes when I can’t quite release all my frustrations, I smile and act as if everything is ok. Body language is 80 percent of communication, and pretending can actually turn the moment around and transform it into a positive one.

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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