Quantcast
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Waiting on a Storyline

The United States Mass Media Directorate is housed in a Washington D.C. secret facility often rumored to exist but never acknowledged by our government. This is where journalists, magazine editors, filmmakers, television producers, cable-news executives, and their cohorts are given instructions as to what to broadcast, print, or say for the next 24 hours.

Reporters quickly learn it’s a humdrum job, mostly gossiping with colleagues and waiting for the morning handout. But, today is different. There is a buzz in the building, an edge to its normally placid ambiance. Brett Favre demolished the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday, and nervous media workers are waiting for guidance. And waiting. And waiting.

Once you’re categorized by the United States Mass Media Directorate, that’s it. Brett Favre will be known as a drama queen until the day he dies and for as long as his memory survives beyond the grave. There is no alternate tagline. No redemption. Unless, that is, Favre wins a Super Bowl. Then the Directorate will drop “drama queen” for a better storyline — “Old Timer Comes Back Against All Odds and Heroically Leads New Team to Super Bowl Victory!” Win a Super Bowl, and Favre will be renamed as “beloved underdog.”

But…there are two more games to play before transformation. The Vikings might lose either one. How to work the storyline in the meantime, that’s the problem, and that’s why the Directorate’s bar is packed on Wednesday morning.

The fact that the Directorate is asking itself how to play this story is a measure of how far Favre has come. He started this season looking like every Hall of Famer who pushed his career one year into embarrassment. Remember Johnny Unitas as a Charger or Joe Namath playing for the Rams?

To be the best is to be an egomaniac. Brett Favre knows how good he is. It has to make you rum-dum crazy to know you’re the best and have the world treat you like a has-been.

Favre was pushed out of Green Bay after the 2007 season, after taking his club to the NFC Championship game, after being selected to the 2008 Pro Bowl. True, he gave management plenty to work with — the crying, the yes, no, yes, no, yes about retiring. His diva delay caused Packers management to publicly commit to a new starting quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. After that, accepting Favre back as their leader would paint them as weak.

When Favre finally decided he wanted to play, the Packers, for good reason, refused to give him the starting-QB job or an unconditional release. So, Favre showed up at camp, thus forcing the Packers to make a trade. Favre was sent to the NFL wasteland known as the New York Jets for a conditional fourth-round draft pick and bus fare to Garden City, Kansas. It wasn’t a pretty parting, but Favre got to keep playing, albeit for a team that just finished 4-12. And Green Bay management got the immense pleasure of making triple-sure Favre would fail.

And then, somehow, after 11 games, Favre led the Jets to an 8-and-3 record and first place in the AFC East. Great Scott, they were going to be in the playoffs!

I don’t have to tell you the Directorate was concerned. Happily, the Jets lost four out of their last five games, Favre threw two touchdown passes and nine interceptions during that stretch, the Jets missed the playoffs, and on February 11, 2009, Favre, thoroughly discredited, informed the Jets he was retiring. Order was restored and the Directorate returned to the L.A. Lakers situation.

Favre was not coming back. Ever. Not this time. Except he did, after more tears, more yes and no and yes and no and yes, signing a contract with Minnesota on August 11, 2009.

The Directorate was not concerned. Favre would burn out in December, just like last year. If anything, this latest comeback would only reinforce their existing storyline.

Instead, Favre led the Vikings to a second seed and a first-round bye in the NFC playoffs, then underlined that achievement with Sunday’s studied, cold-blooded, 34-to-3 humiliation of Dallas. Favre threw four touchdown passes and earned a 134.4 passer rating. He’s 40 years old. Here’s a telling stat, picked out of a Santa Claus–sized grab bag: last year the Vikings’ passing attack was ranked 25th in the NFL. This year they are tied for first. I’ll finish with the ultimate record: Favre has started every game his team has played since September 27, 1992.

Now, I think reasonable people can agree Brett Favre needs to be bitch-slapped as part of a daily routine. He is a whining, selfish, prima donna and a great, great quarterback.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

No longer a David, Stone Brewing recast as a Goliath

The foe of big beer tangles with small breweries over trademarks, including a local IPA
Next Article

Treetop Tutoring Center: Jeanne Volk‘s triple tutoring whammy

“Kids miss school friends they were used to seeing and playing with most days.”

The United States Mass Media Directorate is housed in a Washington D.C. secret facility often rumored to exist but never acknowledged by our government. This is where journalists, magazine editors, filmmakers, television producers, cable-news executives, and their cohorts are given instructions as to what to broadcast, print, or say for the next 24 hours.

Reporters quickly learn it’s a humdrum job, mostly gossiping with colleagues and waiting for the morning handout. But, today is different. There is a buzz in the building, an edge to its normally placid ambiance. Brett Favre demolished the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday, and nervous media workers are waiting for guidance. And waiting. And waiting.

Once you’re categorized by the United States Mass Media Directorate, that’s it. Brett Favre will be known as a drama queen until the day he dies and for as long as his memory survives beyond the grave. There is no alternate tagline. No redemption. Unless, that is, Favre wins a Super Bowl. Then the Directorate will drop “drama queen” for a better storyline — “Old Timer Comes Back Against All Odds and Heroically Leads New Team to Super Bowl Victory!” Win a Super Bowl, and Favre will be renamed as “beloved underdog.”

But…there are two more games to play before transformation. The Vikings might lose either one. How to work the storyline in the meantime, that’s the problem, and that’s why the Directorate’s bar is packed on Wednesday morning.

The fact that the Directorate is asking itself how to play this story is a measure of how far Favre has come. He started this season looking like every Hall of Famer who pushed his career one year into embarrassment. Remember Johnny Unitas as a Charger or Joe Namath playing for the Rams?

To be the best is to be an egomaniac. Brett Favre knows how good he is. It has to make you rum-dum crazy to know you’re the best and have the world treat you like a has-been.

Favre was pushed out of Green Bay after the 2007 season, after taking his club to the NFC Championship game, after being selected to the 2008 Pro Bowl. True, he gave management plenty to work with — the crying, the yes, no, yes, no, yes about retiring. His diva delay caused Packers management to publicly commit to a new starting quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. After that, accepting Favre back as their leader would paint them as weak.

When Favre finally decided he wanted to play, the Packers, for good reason, refused to give him the starting-QB job or an unconditional release. So, Favre showed up at camp, thus forcing the Packers to make a trade. Favre was sent to the NFL wasteland known as the New York Jets for a conditional fourth-round draft pick and bus fare to Garden City, Kansas. It wasn’t a pretty parting, but Favre got to keep playing, albeit for a team that just finished 4-12. And Green Bay management got the immense pleasure of making triple-sure Favre would fail.

And then, somehow, after 11 games, Favre led the Jets to an 8-and-3 record and first place in the AFC East. Great Scott, they were going to be in the playoffs!

I don’t have to tell you the Directorate was concerned. Happily, the Jets lost four out of their last five games, Favre threw two touchdown passes and nine interceptions during that stretch, the Jets missed the playoffs, and on February 11, 2009, Favre, thoroughly discredited, informed the Jets he was retiring. Order was restored and the Directorate returned to the L.A. Lakers situation.

Favre was not coming back. Ever. Not this time. Except he did, after more tears, more yes and no and yes and no and yes, signing a contract with Minnesota on August 11, 2009.

The Directorate was not concerned. Favre would burn out in December, just like last year. If anything, this latest comeback would only reinforce their existing storyline.

Instead, Favre led the Vikings to a second seed and a first-round bye in the NFC playoffs, then underlined that achievement with Sunday’s studied, cold-blooded, 34-to-3 humiliation of Dallas. Favre threw four touchdown passes and earned a 134.4 passer rating. He’s 40 years old. Here’s a telling stat, picked out of a Santa Claus–sized grab bag: last year the Vikings’ passing attack was ranked 25th in the NFL. This year they are tied for first. I’ll finish with the ultimate record: Favre has started every game his team has played since September 27, 1992.

Now, I think reasonable people can agree Brett Favre needs to be bitch-slapped as part of a daily routine. He is a whining, selfish, prima donna and a great, great quarterback.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Nicholas Wiseman: a great influence on John Henry Newman

Also known as author of Fabiola, a novel
Next Article

No longer a David, Stone Brewing recast as a Goliath

The foe of big beer tangles with small breweries over trademarks, including a local IPA
Comments
1

We all know the likely scenario is going to be a Saints/Colts Super Bowl. However, I'd LOVE to see a Jets/Favresotapatent pending Super Bowl. I hope a rookie coach with a rookie QB kicks the ever livin' s*** out of that traitor. Think of the drama! Favre hangs himself in Green Bay only to go to Minnesota via the team that prevents him from sticking it to Green Bay. How sweet of a by-line would THAT be? :-D

Jan. 20, 2010

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer News — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close