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Where We Are Going

It's 5:39 a.m. on the day of the rehearsal dinner. I'm sitting here typing what will be my last blog before my wedding and subsequent honeymoon. I'm tired. My feet are swollen, and my knees are ready to crack with their next subtle bend. My hands and elbows burn with brittle suggestion that arthritis may be setting in. My neck and shoulders are not yet relieved of the fatigue from carrying my head through yesterday's hours. My eyes are tired and bleary. My ears are sensitive to the slightest sounds.

The last week has consumed me with random tasks and specific purposes. Prepping the house for visitors, finalizing the gifts for family and friends, and making last-minute substitutions. The details are tedious and necessary. We've had to find someone to watch the dogs on the day of the wedding, replace the stale and rotting mulch that accents the landscape of our house, and frame pictures for sisters and grandmothers. We've picked up dry cleaning and bridal jewelry. Finalized vendor payments and plans. Met with wedding coordinators, hairdressers, and postal employees. Each task was followed with another and, one by one, crossed off a list that leads to tomorrow evening.

Today is paramount. We've been at this wedding-planning table for 18 months. In the next 36 hours, we will pull everything together. Time is short. Polish has been issued for application to every detail that remains incomplete. Every minute between now and 4:30 this evening has been appropriated. It is a day for finishing touches -- haircuts, collecting tuxedos.

Tonight is practice, a puzzle for family and friends who have been conversing and debating for months about this wedding. For those family and friends, their envisioned landscapes and ocean backdrops will be repainted into a wedding site that many of them have not seen. They will all be told where and how to stand. They will be told when or when not to proceed with their piece of the wedding puzzle. The open spaces to complete the puzzle will be filled tonight, placed carefully so that a picture of tomorrow is complete.

Tomorrow is the day. It is a day that for me begins with a lull. The morning is slated to provide a rested and relaxed start. I won't need to be anywhere or do anything until noon. And from there I will be consumed in a whirlwind of activity that will culminate in a joyous celebration of matrimony. Mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, sisters, friends will witness a union of two people...two souls. Glasses will be raised, and music, dancing, and blessings will follow. As will pictures of smiles, hugs, kisses, and perhaps a few happy tears. Memories will be created and forever written in our minds.

Sunday, a new life begins. When I used to envision myself in the future, I saw myself alone. That vision has evolved. Now, though I stand alone, someone appears at my side and grasps my hand. It is unknown just where we will go. It is known who will be there by my side. This person I love and cherish gives me comfort and understanding. She gives me reason and rationale and balances me out. She makes me smile, even when she is in a different room. She gives me strength and a deep sense of belief and belonging. She loves me unconditionally and does not judge or belittle me for the decisions I make. She makes me laugh and love. Yes, indeed, a new life begins. Her life and my life are now "our life" for today and always.


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