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Dinner can affect your hearing if you’re a very poor aim with a fork

Or maybe you have a life-threatening wax buildup

Pa Alice is completely deaf to the words “help,” “dishes,” and “Get out from in front of the TV.” - Image by Rick Geary
Pa Alice is completely deaf to the words “help,” “dishes,” and “Get out from in front of the TV.”

We recently heard that eating a meal can affect a person's hearing. After a person has eaten, the sense of hearing is affected, and a person cannot hear as well. Is this true? Why? — P.S. and K.B., San Diego

Can you speak up? I just had a hoagie. Actually, according to Ma Alice, president of Martyrs Anonymous, the threshold of human hearing declines only selectively after a meal. On a scrap of paper in her housecoat pocket, she has data confirming that in the first postprandial hour, Pa Alice is completely deaf to the words “help,” “dishes,” and “Get out from in front of the TV.”

The Alices aside, I consulted with Dr. Otto Scope, staff quack, renowned diplomate of the American Academy of Diseases of the Rich. He says if you think you heard that eating affects your ears, you have a life-threatening wax buildup. But he can cure that and throw in a cosmetic lobe reduction for a price in the low four figures, if you’ll just step this way. About the only connection between your full stomach and your ears is the fact that digestion diverts some blood temporarily from other body parts. But certainly not enough to affect hearing. Snap, Crackle, and Pop would be on welfare today if we all went deaf at the breakfast table. Perhaps dinner can affect your hearing if you’re a very poor aim with a fork and tend to clog your ears with macaroni and cheese. Or if your rumbling stomach drowns out the dinner guests.

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Pa Alice is completely deaf to the words “help,” “dishes,” and “Get out from in front of the TV.” - Image by Rick Geary
Pa Alice is completely deaf to the words “help,” “dishes,” and “Get out from in front of the TV.”

We recently heard that eating a meal can affect a person's hearing. After a person has eaten, the sense of hearing is affected, and a person cannot hear as well. Is this true? Why? — P.S. and K.B., San Diego

Can you speak up? I just had a hoagie. Actually, according to Ma Alice, president of Martyrs Anonymous, the threshold of human hearing declines only selectively after a meal. On a scrap of paper in her housecoat pocket, she has data confirming that in the first postprandial hour, Pa Alice is completely deaf to the words “help,” “dishes,” and “Get out from in front of the TV.”

The Alices aside, I consulted with Dr. Otto Scope, staff quack, renowned diplomate of the American Academy of Diseases of the Rich. He says if you think you heard that eating affects your ears, you have a life-threatening wax buildup. But he can cure that and throw in a cosmetic lobe reduction for a price in the low four figures, if you’ll just step this way. About the only connection between your full stomach and your ears is the fact that digestion diverts some blood temporarily from other body parts. But certainly not enough to affect hearing. Snap, Crackle, and Pop would be on welfare today if we all went deaf at the breakfast table. Perhaps dinner can affect your hearing if you’re a very poor aim with a fork and tend to clog your ears with macaroni and cheese. Or if your rumbling stomach drowns out the dinner guests.

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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