Bach's music is stuffiness epitomized, or so the standard line goes. It is simplistic, redundant, and lacks percussionistic fire. But it is also exquisitely lovely. for its much maligned simplicity. when contrapuntally redoubled. is transformed into patterns so intricate that the geometric lineaments on mosque walls are no comparison. And perhaps this is why Bach. that "old dead punk" is still very much alive today.

For someone brought up on rock, spoon-fed by the Stones. Beatles, and lesser luminaries of the musical tradition of the sixties, Bach is hard to approach. The instruments are all different (where is the guitar?). the tempo is strange. and the only dance that fits the beat is the minuet. How does one go about introducing himself to the world of Bach?

I would suggest starting with Bach's most famous music. the six Brandenburg Concertos. And, if you are going to take the plunge. [ suggest purchasing either one of what are definitely the two best recordings. My favorite is on the RCA label: "Bach.The Six Brandenburg Concertos," played by the Collegium Aureum, an outfit specializing in that sort of thing. Next best would be, on the Nonesuch label, "Johann Sebastian Bach: Brandenburg Concertos," played by the Chamber Orchestra of the Saar, Karl Ristenpart conducting.

The concertos have a rather mottled history. Bach sent the scores to the Margrave of Brandenburg (hence the name) in 1721, two years after the Margrave had commissioned some courtly music. Bach never did produce anything specifically for the Margrave; he was too busy composing for Prince Leopold of Anhalt-Cothen. Bach just decided to get his obligation to the Margrave out of the way-two years was an awfully long time to postpone the composing-so he sent him six concertos that he had written while working for the Prince. The Margrave, since he was only a Margrave, had a rather small court and a rather puny lot of musicians, none of whom were especially good. They never could get the hang of the concertos, which arc very difficult to play, so the Margrave reluctantly hid the scores among his personal papers. The concertos had not, to the date of their hiding, been played anywhere. Well, the Margrave eventually went to happier places, and his personal effects were divided among five feuding relatives, with the scores to the concertos going for about 24 groschen, less than a quarter of a schilling! Through some accident of history, they wound up at the Berlin State Library, where their brilliance ane verve were finally realized. Ever since they have been standard Bach fare.

Both of the recommended recordings are two-record albums. Two of the concertos, numbers one and five, are fairly long; each requires a full side. The other four are packed two to a side. The third concerto is undoubtedly the most famous, having been used, I venture, in absolutely every film portraying the wining and dining of eighteenth century royalty. The second concerto is the next most familiar. In fact, the second movement to it. the andante, has been used. in its Collegium Aureum version, as the theme music for William F. Buckley's show "The Firing Line."(Buckley is big on Bach.)

Herewith a little snippet from the jacket of the Collegium Aureum rendition:

"The second, fourth, and fifth concertos follow the type of the so-called concerto grosso in which a group of soloists (the concerti no) is juxtaposed to the accompanying orchestra of the ripieno players. In the first, third, and sixth concertos, on the other hand, the orchestra is composed of evenly balanced instrumental choirs competing with each other and at times surrendering the lead to a single instrument out of their midst." Which is pretty much the way it is. (By the bye, in the above quote, "ripieno players" means those who perform together. in contradistinction to soloists.)

I prefer the Collegium Aureum version because it is a bit crisper than the other. The instruments are a little sharper; there is little of that tonal fade-out so common in the recorder and oboe sections. Of course. for an equalIy mellifluous performance, the Chamber Orchestra of the Saar version is just fine. The prospective buyer should listen to both before buying either. But. for God's sake, get one of these two albums only. Forget the attempts of other artists. The Brandenburg Concertos are very difficult to play, and if they are not played perfectly. they sound terrible. Ask the Margrave.