"What we got here is--failure to communicate!" --Strother Martin, from "Cool Hand Luke" (and the opening of "Civil War" by Guns & Roses).

After I woke up this morning and performed my daily abulations, I flipped my Cricket Wireless cellphone to "Browser" mode. I then hit "ABCNews.com" from my "bookmark" section and made my way to "The Blotter."

Top news story of The Blotter--"Dad to face jail time for taking daughter to church?"

EGADS! Quick, call Pat Robertson and Dr. Dobson--Christianity is under attack by them toad-sucking secular humanists. Denying a liitle girl the right to attend church--we'll give these lambrains their rights...as in LAST RITES (and a few lefts as well!).

Now, now, readers--just settle down, chill out...and let's get down to the rest of the story. It all started in a Chi-Town Boxing club where an Army non-com (working in intelligence) met a female lawyer while doing ring-work. Nice & Cool, Right.

Except for one tiny problem. The Army dude is Roman Catholic, while his new-found sweetie is Jewish. Add to that the fact that her parents weren't too swift on their child marrying a goy (non-Jew in Yiddish, btw). So, to please the parents and his lady-love, Army-Guy "converts" from Roman Catholocism to Judaism.

Then comes the wedding at the temple...and the problems start to pile up. Money troubles, two different views of their "future life together," Army-Guy not taking his new-found faith seriously (Attendance at Synagog is the least of it). Face it, folks...this marraige is leaving skid-marks on the bowl, big-time!

Then just as things couldn't get any more Weirdsville--the couple have a daughter! Now, in the wedding contract, any children born of a union blessed under Talmudic law must be raised in the Hebrew faith. This means that if you and your sweetie get married in the temple (even though one of you is goyim), any kids you two bring into this world are to be raised as Jews.

Well, even having the little tyke couldn't save this marriage--fact was, it was on it's way to the autopsy room when the kid came to be. So, the mother files for divorce, lawyers up...and here's where the hellride to DCFS-Interventionville goes full-tilt boogie!

First, Army-Guy shows up with a member of the Cook County Sheriff's Department, claiming that his daughter was "kidnapped"...because he wasn't granted "visitation rights." The mess ends up in court, with the mother stipulating that the father not take the daughter to Mass at the local Roman Catholic Church.


That's right...he not only took her to Mass, but had her baptized into the Roman Catholic faith--with pictures to prove the deed was done! So, "our hero" is now facing jail time for "contempt-of-court."

Army-Guy is trying to make the divorce case about the denial of "father's rights" when a divorce decree is issued by a judge...with him as the martyr to the cause. Frankly, neither one of them were mature enough in the first place to even consider tying the knot, let alone bringing a kid into this world.

Frankly, this marraige is now gone goose. Also, this case is showing that neither one of the "parents" are fit to have custody of a dessicated cockroach, let alone a toddler. Frankly, the judge should place the toddler in temporary guasrdianship with her grandparents--as a start.

How will it all turn out? Easy enough--just check out the "Blotter" and "The Law" sections at www.abcnews.com for more information on this case. In this day-and-age, you may think you know how it turns out--but the decision often goes the other way when you least expect it!



antigeekess March 2, 2010 @ 6:22 p.m.

Oy. By the time she's 20 and in college, she'll be either an atheist or a Wiccan anyway. There's that to look forward to.



CuddleFish March 2, 2010 @ 7:26 p.m.

Reminds me of the story Frank McCourt used to tell about his mother. She would be asked to babysit for Jewish families in her neighborhood and when the little tykes were asleep, she would baptize them. He said that there were lots of people raising Jewish children who actually belonged to the Holy Roman Catholic Church.



Sign in to comment

Win a $25 Gift Card to
The Broken Yolk Cafe

Join our newsletter list

Each newsletter subscription means another chance to win!