"Mother...tell your children not to walk my way!" --Glenn Danzig, from "Mother."

Mother's Day has many special meanings to me. Some are good, some reek of brimstone, and some make me wonder why we have only one day out of the year to tell our mother-figures that we love-and-appreciate them.

That is...if you follow the sheep and do "what everybody else does."

I still have my granmother Frannie (96 in November), the typical Irish matron who'se motto of "There's always room for you here!" got me through some of the darkest days of my childhood. Without her love-and-protection, I'd probably be in a grave somewhere--another fatality from child abuse and neglect.

My bio-mom (Barbara) passed on in 1998. We were just starting to rebuild our mother/son relationship, but even if I could have brought myself to trust her again, under no circumstances would I ever venture out to Michigan City, IN for a visit alone. Child abusers of any sort are much like spots on a leopard--they lack the capacity for change, and will revert back to true form, with tragic consequences.

Mother's Day is also the day I was discharged from Palomar Medical Center, having spent two weeks battling MRSA (and nearly dying from it). It was also the day I was noticing that my "loving wife" was going through changes...and not good ones. She was becoming much more aloof and distant. Over one year later, I would have to flee my apartment for my own safety. Though Melanie is gone, I still remember the good times, along with the bad ones.

Though many folks say that Mother's Day was only founded to boost greeting card sales, it is imperative that you know that every day can be Mother's Day. Love, cherish, and celebrate all your mother-figures while you still can...there will come a day when the only "celebration" you can show is in memory of her--because she no longer walks among us.

Just something to think about before the day comes.


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CuddleFish April 24, 2010 @ 3:29 p.m.

What a mixture of emotions expressed here, Robbie. I think I understand you. I did not have a good relationship with my mother either, not because she was abusive, though. Just before she passed away, we managed to connect, briefly, but I am glad that we had that moment. I don't wish she was here, as she was; I wish things had been different.

So I happen to agree with you about this, and all other artificial holidays; for some of us, there is more pain than joy in the notions.


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