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Love is a Battlefield

We all date. And we all date for a varied number of days, weeks, or for the truly brave, years. I count myself amongst the fearless soldiers of singles who lived in the trenches while others flitted on and off the battlefield as if it were a bloody two week stop on the way to rebound relationship safe haven. I stayed and I fought, resisting neutrality with passion and certitude until I got cold-cocked and dragged from the field into enemy territory. From that point forward I found myself waking up in the same bed, with the same man week after week after week. I found myself finding something of value in the enemy.

It was shocking every morning. I would wipe the drool from the crevice of my lips, turn, stretch, luxuriate in my red comforted single bed, until my eyes opened to the rays of daylight and my hand brushed flesh that was not my own.

Every morning I would throw open my eyes in a panic and sit straight up in bed, only to realize I was in a relationship and my single bed was gone for at least a few months.

I know it’s blasphemous. All the books say a relationship is the victory…the point at which you can declare, “The war is over and the battle is won!”

I truly care about my “boyfriend” (still in quotes because I can’t quite say it without rolling my eyes) and he really is a good guy. But, perhaps, I am no happier than the happiness I had in the trenches of full out singledom.

This is heresy, I know, but it’s true.

I am happy now and I was then.

I was never delusional enough to believe that movies starring Julia Roberts were real, but I have to admit that my heart fell for it just a little. I thought that, perhaps, one might meet someone and with that someone everything would be simple and easy and solved.

Well, there is no solvent and that is good.

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We all date. And we all date for a varied number of days, weeks, or for the truly brave, years. I count myself amongst the fearless soldiers of singles who lived in the trenches while others flitted on and off the battlefield as if it were a bloody two week stop on the way to rebound relationship safe haven. I stayed and I fought, resisting neutrality with passion and certitude until I got cold-cocked and dragged from the field into enemy territory. From that point forward I found myself waking up in the same bed, with the same man week after week after week. I found myself finding something of value in the enemy.

It was shocking every morning. I would wipe the drool from the crevice of my lips, turn, stretch, luxuriate in my red comforted single bed, until my eyes opened to the rays of daylight and my hand brushed flesh that was not my own.

Every morning I would throw open my eyes in a panic and sit straight up in bed, only to realize I was in a relationship and my single bed was gone for at least a few months.

I know it’s blasphemous. All the books say a relationship is the victory…the point at which you can declare, “The war is over and the battle is won!”

I truly care about my “boyfriend” (still in quotes because I can’t quite say it without rolling my eyes) and he really is a good guy. But, perhaps, I am no happier than the happiness I had in the trenches of full out singledom.

This is heresy, I know, but it’s true.

I am happy now and I was then.

I was never delusional enough to believe that movies starring Julia Roberts were real, but I have to admit that my heart fell for it just a little. I thought that, perhaps, one might meet someone and with that someone everything would be simple and easy and solved.

Well, there is no solvent and that is good.

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Comments
13

Hi, Single! Welcome back. A mate doesn't solve our problems, but they sure make them seem less important. Bask in your boyfriend's adoration.

Sept. 24, 2010

truer words were never spoken..because even if it's the right guy...it's not the perfect guy of romantic/ comedy cinema

first it's fairytales...then the movies that fill our thoughts with impossibilities

hey risky business this "knight on a white horse" thing...but we keep lookin' anyway

Sept. 24, 2010

Like a fish needs a bicycle :)

Sept. 25, 2010

One day, you'll wake up and discover you'd rather have a doughnut than a man. Life will get much easier then

Hahahahaha.............you dont knwo how much that hurt Mindy!

Sept. 25, 2010

Mindy- you have a pic of June Allyson's pool in your profile-is that the home in Palm Springs?

She was married at a local hotel there in Palm Springs(cannot recall the name right now, but on Taquitez Canyon at Palm Canyon) and they supposedly still have her wedding pictures in the lobby....just curious.

Sept. 25, 2010

aaaaaahhh Puppy not u my man...women can't resist a man devoted to his dogs!!!!!!

Sept. 25, 2010

I don't think I'll ever wake up thinking that a doughnut would be better than a woman.

never.

  • Joe
Sept. 25, 2010

right on Joe!!!

Sept. 25, 2010

Different people in the world receive the loans in different banks, because that is easy and fast.

Sept. 25, 2010

And, #10, we have a winner!

Sept. 25, 2010

Hmmmm....doughnuts are delicious....

Sept. 25, 2010

11.....wha....?????????

Sept. 25, 2010

Maybe the malaise you're feeling stems from being the live-in, free screw for some guy. At least Julia Roberts got paid.

Sept. 16, 2011

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