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I called the Social Security office to talk about a letter they had sent regarding my grandmother’s Medicare benefits. I explained that I was calling on her behalf because my grammy is loopy-loo (borrowed that technical term from former British PM Tony Blair) and the consensus seems to be that her condition may now be permanent, so the lady on the phone suggested that I become her authorized representative and payee with the Social Security people. Some time ago, I lost my planner/agenda thingy, and inside was my Social Security card (already replaced), along with my son’s, so I asked the lady on the phone what I needed to do to get this stuff in order. As far as my grandmother, I was told, all I had to do was bring in the information as to where she was staying and who her doctor was so they could verify she was incapacitated, and I would be appointed her representative/payee. As far as my son, I had to bring in some form of picture I.D., preferably a state-issued I.D. card, to get his replacement card.
So Wednesday, my son and I go up to the Department of Motor Vehicles office. I had a folder full of his important papers with me, not knowing what they would ask for besides his birth certificate, and the lady at the counter says we need to see his birth certificate, so I get out the birth certificate and the lady says that’s not a birth certificate, and I say, that’s what they gave me at the hospital when he was born, and she says, but it’s not a official birth certificate, that’s a ceremonial birth certificate. She says, you have to go down to the County and get a real birth certificate, then come back here to get the State I.D. card. So then I drive down to the Social Security office anyway because I still have to take care of my grandmother’s business, and after waiting an hour, the lady at the window says, No, just telling us who her doctor is won’t do, you have to get a letter from her doctor stating she is not capable of handling her affairs. So I gather my things, and she says, Is there anything else, and I say, Well I had meant to get a replacement Social Security card for my son, but I’m told I can’t get that without a State I.D. card, which I can’t get without a real birth certificate, which I have to get from the County. And she says, Do you have anything like a report card from his school? I look through my folder of things, and find a piece of mail from his school, unopened, which I had stuck in there as proof of residence for the DMV people. So she opens it and lo and behold it’s a test scores report with his birth date, and she says, Sure, he can get his replacement card with this.
One more stop on the way home, besides the McDonalds for lunch: the Immunizations trailer at the local public health clinic, to ask about getting my son a swine flu shot before he goes back to school in February. I leave him in the car and go in the office, figuring I had to get an appointment, and figuring they probably didn’t even have the vaccine, and figuring I didn’t have the papers I would need to get the vaccine, or whatever million other hoops I would have to jump through. The lady at the desk finds his name in the computer, says, Is your son with you? I say, Yes. She says, Bring him in and he can get his shot right now, but hurry you are the last person before I lock the door. So I run to get him, we go in the office, she prints out the information, makes me sign something which she doesn’t explain and I don’t read, probably a waiver saying if he grows extra appendages or his head explodes it ain’t the government’s fault, we are rushed back to the rear of the office, he sits down and they give him two shots, one for regular flu and one for swiners. Then as we are about to go out the door, the lady at the front desk tells me, Oh by the way, he needs about eight more shots to bring him up to date on his vaccines, be sure and bring him back, we can get him all taken care of.
Loopy-loo.
I called the Social Security office to talk about a letter they had sent regarding my grandmother’s Medicare benefits. I explained that I was calling on her behalf because my grammy is loopy-loo (borrowed that technical term from former British PM Tony Blair) and the consensus seems to be that her condition may now be permanent, so the lady on the phone suggested that I become her authorized representative and payee with the Social Security people. Some time ago, I lost my planner/agenda thingy, and inside was my Social Security card (already replaced), along with my son’s, so I asked the lady on the phone what I needed to do to get this stuff in order. As far as my grandmother, I was told, all I had to do was bring in the information as to where she was staying and who her doctor was so they could verify she was incapacitated, and I would be appointed her representative/payee. As far as my son, I had to bring in some form of picture I.D., preferably a state-issued I.D. card, to get his replacement card.
So Wednesday, my son and I go up to the Department of Motor Vehicles office. I had a folder full of his important papers with me, not knowing what they would ask for besides his birth certificate, and the lady at the counter says we need to see his birth certificate, so I get out the birth certificate and the lady says that’s not a birth certificate, and I say, that’s what they gave me at the hospital when he was born, and she says, but it’s not a official birth certificate, that’s a ceremonial birth certificate. She says, you have to go down to the County and get a real birth certificate, then come back here to get the State I.D. card. So then I drive down to the Social Security office anyway because I still have to take care of my grandmother’s business, and after waiting an hour, the lady at the window says, No, just telling us who her doctor is won’t do, you have to get a letter from her doctor stating she is not capable of handling her affairs. So I gather my things, and she says, Is there anything else, and I say, Well I had meant to get a replacement Social Security card for my son, but I’m told I can’t get that without a State I.D. card, which I can’t get without a real birth certificate, which I have to get from the County. And she says, Do you have anything like a report card from his school? I look through my folder of things, and find a piece of mail from his school, unopened, which I had stuck in there as proof of residence for the DMV people. So she opens it and lo and behold it’s a test scores report with his birth date, and she says, Sure, he can get his replacement card with this.
One more stop on the way home, besides the McDonalds for lunch: the Immunizations trailer at the local public health clinic, to ask about getting my son a swine flu shot before he goes back to school in February. I leave him in the car and go in the office, figuring I had to get an appointment, and figuring they probably didn’t even have the vaccine, and figuring I didn’t have the papers I would need to get the vaccine, or whatever million other hoops I would have to jump through. The lady at the desk finds his name in the computer, says, Is your son with you? I say, Yes. She says, Bring him in and he can get his shot right now, but hurry you are the last person before I lock the door. So I run to get him, we go in the office, she prints out the information, makes me sign something which she doesn’t explain and I don’t read, probably a waiver saying if he grows extra appendages or his head explodes it ain’t the government’s fault, we are rushed back to the rear of the office, he sits down and they give him two shots, one for regular flu and one for swiners. Then as we are about to go out the door, the lady at the front desk tells me, Oh by the way, he needs about eight more shots to bring him up to date on his vaccines, be sure and bring him back, we can get him all taken care of.
Loopy-loo.