4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Jakes on the Prowl in PB

I live on the corner of a dangerous intersection. Actually, I don't think that puts it quite accurately enough, because I feel like the word "dangerous" implies that something bad could possibly occur there, when in fact many bad things do happen there, like clockwork. The aptly named Grand Avenue is a big and busy thoroughfare, and at intersections like the one right outside my place where there is no traffic light, it is extremely inadvisable to drive straight across Grand due to the plainly obvious danger inherent. Accordingly, at both the north and south corners, there are signs that mandate all approaching vehicles to make a RIGHT TURN ONLY. When I first moved here I thought that was ridiculous but after witnessing the terrible smash-ups that happen here on about a bi-weekly basis because lots of other uninformed people apparently also think that, being American and free, we should not be ordered to turn right on a two-way street, I quickly learned that rules are made for reasons. They say if you catch the right sunset, you'll see some kind of green flash. I don't know about that, but I do know that if you catch the right moment on Grand and Dawes, you're certainly liable to see a bulldozed skateboarder hurtling through the air or a law-abiding driver getting rammed right in the ribs by a right-turn-only rebel or a drunk smashing several parked cars or even a pedestrian carrying a surfboard catching a gentle love-tap from a Volvo. What can be done about this? Too many people ignore the pesky "law", so I think they should erect some sort of electronic contraption with three circles, one of which beams green light when it's presumably safe to proceed. It would save lives, and it just might be crazy enough to work. A couple of years ago, cops would lay low in the alley behind my place for a few minutes until someone cruised through unabashedly and then they would pull them over to give them a ticket, and a lesson. They don't do that anymore.
About an hour ago, I was doing some jumping jacks (what else would a single, jobless twenty-something man be doing at 2am?) when flickering lights in my apartment suddenly spiced up my night. I looked outside for the source and there was a cop pulling over a pick-up. Not for illegally crossing Grand though, he hadn't reached Grand yet when he got flagged. I checked the time, 2am. Gotta be a suspicion of DUI. I put on sneakers and went outside, because I like to let the cops know someone's watching in case they want to try any of that police brutality crap. The officer went up to the driver and while he was insulting the guy (there's really no other way to describe the way police "talk" to you when they think you're guilty of something) two more black and whites arrived on the scene, one of whom actually felt it might be superfluous to leave his lights flashing, other than the hazards. Trust me, the siren lights from the first two cars sufficiently illuminated my apartment complex as well as the surrounding neighborhood. Then the first cop gave the driver the dreaded moving pen test while he was still sitting in the car, which is grossly unfair in my opinion. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of field sobriety examination, this absurd little game involves the cop holding his pen and moving it slowly from left to right, and you're supposed to follow it with your eyes without moving your head. No matter how well you do, he's gonna claim you failed and you can't do anything to prove him wrong, but when the f***er does it to you when you're still in the car, it's loaded dice man, it's a two-sided coin. It's way harder to win at that game when you start off with your head at a near 90-degree angle. Your head will naturally and unconsciously want to return to it's normal straightforward position, drunk or sober. So naturally the guy "failed", and this gave the boys all the cause they needed to get the driver and his buddy out of the car for a cuff-and-search as well as a look through the vehicle for what they hoped to be a large cache of crack or corpses. That's one thing I really hate about cops, they don't want you to be innocent. They're always hoping for the big bust, they live on the opposite end of hope and faith. This time though, they didn't find anything, so they sat the two guys down on the curb, then they separated them so they could demean the driver with some more BS "tests" to make it look like they're doing their job and being real thorough, and to let the kids know who's in charge, and then finally they let them go. Before their release, one of the cops made a point to tell them that they "had to cuff" them for the search in a way that made me think that wasn't true, they probably only cuffed them because they were Latino. I've been searched a few times in my day, and they've always just told me to put my hands on the trunk of the car or something like that. Anyway, the thing that bothered me about this part of the situation was that during this whole ludicrous exercise, two cars recklessly and illegally crossed the intersection, and these bastards didn't even bat an eyelash! Here we have dangerous and illegal activity being perpetrated right in the face and under the nose of not one, not two, but three cops who are otherwise tending to a non-situation, and they didn't give those law-breakers a first thought. In case the gravity of all this is escaping you because I'm such a scatterbrained writer, THREE cops were harassing innocent people while other people were brashly breaking the law right in front of them! It was like watching a live showing of The Naked Gun! As if that wasn't enough, a third car did the same hazardous thing - and it was a cop car! Not only do they not enforce this most important law, they disobey it themselves. Then, after they let the Latino kids go, they finally got to serving, protecting, and fighting crime. Ha! Yeah right! As if they had not yet disgraced themselves and their profession enough, the three of them circled up and chatted the night away for eight full minutes, from 2:21 to 2:29, laughing it up while their engines idled though their effect on the environment did not, and their still flashing lights alerted all who would pass to their purposeless presence here. I have a neighbor who jokingly complains about his taxes paying my unemployment benefits. Tomorrow I'll tell him the sad truth that he's paying these jokers a lot more.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Six String Society’s Pianotastic project

Kenneth Rexrode brings concert theatrical to Oceanside
Next Article

Reasons the line has slowed at San Ysidro gate

Migrants rushing, gaviotas cutting – not to mention the Baja 1000

I live on the corner of a dangerous intersection. Actually, I don't think that puts it quite accurately enough, because I feel like the word "dangerous" implies that something bad could possibly occur there, when in fact many bad things do happen there, like clockwork. The aptly named Grand Avenue is a big and busy thoroughfare, and at intersections like the one right outside my place where there is no traffic light, it is extremely inadvisable to drive straight across Grand due to the plainly obvious danger inherent. Accordingly, at both the north and south corners, there are signs that mandate all approaching vehicles to make a RIGHT TURN ONLY. When I first moved here I thought that was ridiculous but after witnessing the terrible smash-ups that happen here on about a bi-weekly basis because lots of other uninformed people apparently also think that, being American and free, we should not be ordered to turn right on a two-way street, I quickly learned that rules are made for reasons. They say if you catch the right sunset, you'll see some kind of green flash. I don't know about that, but I do know that if you catch the right moment on Grand and Dawes, you're certainly liable to see a bulldozed skateboarder hurtling through the air or a law-abiding driver getting rammed right in the ribs by a right-turn-only rebel or a drunk smashing several parked cars or even a pedestrian carrying a surfboard catching a gentle love-tap from a Volvo. What can be done about this? Too many people ignore the pesky "law", so I think they should erect some sort of electronic contraption with three circles, one of which beams green light when it's presumably safe to proceed. It would save lives, and it just might be crazy enough to work. A couple of years ago, cops would lay low in the alley behind my place for a few minutes until someone cruised through unabashedly and then they would pull them over to give them a ticket, and a lesson. They don't do that anymore.
About an hour ago, I was doing some jumping jacks (what else would a single, jobless twenty-something man be doing at 2am?) when flickering lights in my apartment suddenly spiced up my night. I looked outside for the source and there was a cop pulling over a pick-up. Not for illegally crossing Grand though, he hadn't reached Grand yet when he got flagged. I checked the time, 2am. Gotta be a suspicion of DUI. I put on sneakers and went outside, because I like to let the cops know someone's watching in case they want to try any of that police brutality crap. The officer went up to the driver and while he was insulting the guy (there's really no other way to describe the way police "talk" to you when they think you're guilty of something) two more black and whites arrived on the scene, one of whom actually felt it might be superfluous to leave his lights flashing, other than the hazards. Trust me, the siren lights from the first two cars sufficiently illuminated my apartment complex as well as the surrounding neighborhood. Then the first cop gave the driver the dreaded moving pen test while he was still sitting in the car, which is grossly unfair in my opinion. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of field sobriety examination, this absurd little game involves the cop holding his pen and moving it slowly from left to right, and you're supposed to follow it with your eyes without moving your head. No matter how well you do, he's gonna claim you failed and you can't do anything to prove him wrong, but when the f***er does it to you when you're still in the car, it's loaded dice man, it's a two-sided coin. It's way harder to win at that game when you start off with your head at a near 90-degree angle. Your head will naturally and unconsciously want to return to it's normal straightforward position, drunk or sober. So naturally the guy "failed", and this gave the boys all the cause they needed to get the driver and his buddy out of the car for a cuff-and-search as well as a look through the vehicle for what they hoped to be a large cache of crack or corpses. That's one thing I really hate about cops, they don't want you to be innocent. They're always hoping for the big bust, they live on the opposite end of hope and faith. This time though, they didn't find anything, so they sat the two guys down on the curb, then they separated them so they could demean the driver with some more BS "tests" to make it look like they're doing their job and being real thorough, and to let the kids know who's in charge, and then finally they let them go. Before their release, one of the cops made a point to tell them that they "had to cuff" them for the search in a way that made me think that wasn't true, they probably only cuffed them because they were Latino. I've been searched a few times in my day, and they've always just told me to put my hands on the trunk of the car or something like that. Anyway, the thing that bothered me about this part of the situation was that during this whole ludicrous exercise, two cars recklessly and illegally crossed the intersection, and these bastards didn't even bat an eyelash! Here we have dangerous and illegal activity being perpetrated right in the face and under the nose of not one, not two, but three cops who are otherwise tending to a non-situation, and they didn't give those law-breakers a first thought. In case the gravity of all this is escaping you because I'm such a scatterbrained writer, THREE cops were harassing innocent people while other people were brashly breaking the law right in front of them! It was like watching a live showing of The Naked Gun! As if that wasn't enough, a third car did the same hazardous thing - and it was a cop car! Not only do they not enforce this most important law, they disobey it themselves. Then, after they let the Latino kids go, they finally got to serving, protecting, and fighting crime. Ha! Yeah right! As if they had not yet disgraced themselves and their profession enough, the three of them circled up and chatted the night away for eight full minutes, from 2:21 to 2:29, laughing it up while their engines idled though their effect on the environment did not, and their still flashing lights alerted all who would pass to their purposeless presence here. I have a neighbor who jokingly complains about his taxes paying my unemployment benefits. Tomorrow I'll tell him the sad truth that he's paying these jokers a lot more.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Comments
3

2 thumbs up! ...JamesJoycian tendencies notwithstanding. :)

April 9, 2009

Where from the Bronx? I'm from Pelham Parkway.

April 17, 2009

Is that what single guys do in the late night or wee morning hours? I had always wondered.

Aug. 7, 2009

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close