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Terra in Hillcrest is closing even sooner: March 20, not March 30.

Meanwhile, I'm deluged by high-end restaurants sending me their Valentine's Day menus. Gobble gobble gobble, spend spend spend, guzzle guzzle, fall into a deep sozzled sleep. Worth doing if you're proposing, I guess (or seriously propositioning -- or as the TV ad nearly says, "Every [carnal act] begins with Kaye's" -- but the restaurants are all packed, one of the busiest days of the year.

The best V-Day meal by my lights is two dozen raw oysters to share, at a restaurant or at home. (Blue Waters carries juicy fresh oysters. If you don't have an oyster knife or the courage to shuck'em yourself, bake them hot for a few minutes until they open. If you've got a major cookbook, check for recipes for oysters baked in cream, but you'll still be fine if you serve them plain and warm with a spritz of lemon or a topknot of creme fraiche sprinkled with cheap caviar..Can't get creme fraiche? Try Mexican bottled crema.agrio) Afterwards, maybe, a very light dessert -- panna cotta, classic tiramisu (no icky chocolate syrup!), maybe chocolate mousse, but not heavy chocolate cake (molten or otherwise) and not another creme brulee, lest you put your lover to sleep out of sheer boredom. . This formula is guaranteed by numerous experimental trials!

But if your song is "Who Needs Love?", Proper Gastropub is featuring a cynic's V-Day. Here is most of their press release, much more to my taste than the romantic fakery of typical V-Day dinners. :

"Ditch the red and let all the flowers die this Valentine’s Day. Proper Gastropub is forgoing the romance of Valentine’s Day by instating the following policies for February 14:

NO Red (or pink) NO Roses NO Heart-Shaped Boxes of Chocolate NO Public Displays of Affection The traditional English gastropub overlooking the ballpark downtown and the adjoining Wine Steals East Village will welcome all the recently dumped, disgruntled daters and sour singles who want to celebrate February 14 without the deluge of lovey-dovey couples looking longingly into each other’s eyes.

Proper’s "Anti-Valentine’s Day" party starts at 4 p.m. and offers a retreat from retail romance with a "Kiss-Off!" cocktail list of specials:

· "Screw U" Driver $4

· "Forget You" Floradora $6

· Bloody Bastard Champagne Cocktail $4

· Raging Bitch IPA $4

To help brooding exes "ex-orcise" their demons, Proper’s offering a welcome one-time, one dollar "Screw U" Driver to anyone who comes dressed in black or brings a photo of their formerly devoted to be purged in a proper manner.

And forget the sweets - lovesick guests or those that are just sick of love can assuage their anguish with savory appetizer specials. Wine Steals’ full menu will also be available as will Proper’s complete array of traditional English gastropub fare including their new Small Bites and Small Plates offerings."

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