A friend of mine alerted me to a story in Springfield, Virginia. It involved a guy who was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

Do you wonder where he was? Perhaps in a park, wearing a trench coat. Maybe the parking lot of a Ralph’s.

Nope. It was 5:30 a.m. and he was making coffee in the nude. Not the best move, I know. Hadn’t this dope heard of the McDonald’s woman that spilled it on her lap? (Hot, percolating coffee can be your friend and your enemy).

A woman was walking her 7-year-old daughter and saw him through his kitchen window.

Now, I’d lose sympathy for the guy at this point, because if you’re walking around your house nude, that’s fine. Heck, Terry Bradshaw did it in a movie to great comedic effect. But you should know where your windows are. Or, let’s use some curtains, people.

Problem I have though, is this woman was CUTTING ACROSS HIS LAWN!!

Now this guy is looking at a year in jail and a possible $2,000 fine.

The Fairfax police say this guy wanted to be seen naked. Which either means that his front lawn is the place the neighborhood kids are hanging out in at 5:30 a.m.

Now if it were me and I wanted to be seen naked, I might stroll out and get the newspaper naked. Or with a robe that just happens to fall open as I bend down.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be seen naked. Even with the woman I love. I’m just sayin’.

I hate to use this cliché, but if it were the other way around…and this was a man trespassing on a womans lawn and seeing her naked, I’m guessing he’d be the one in trouble. I'm guessing no woman sunbathing nude in her backyard has ever been charged, and told by police "You wanted to be seen" (that makes for a funny scene in the new Coen Brothers film, by the way).

When I was at 6th grade camp at Cuayamaca, some girls were caught looking in our window as we were naked and lined up for the showers. All the camp counselors thought it was funny. And again, had it been the boys peeking in their cabins, I’m guessing we would’ve been in hot water (or cold showers).

I found all this news out, as a TV show was speculating that a sex tape with David Letterman exists, due to security cameras and his escapades taking place in various offices.

Letterman video might exist, but would anyone really want to see this sex tape? Do I need to give you the Top 10 reasons I don’t want to see it? Here it goes:

10) Bizarre watching his glasses fog up.

9) Awkward moment when he giggles and throws it to Paul.

8) Remember “monkey cam”?

7) It’s David Letterman! It was gross enough watching Tommy Lee. But at least we had a payoff of Pamela Anderson to look forward to.

6) His hair piece keeps coming loose.

5) Back in 2 minutes, 2 seconds. Oh wait…that’s from Chuck Wollery’s sex tape.

4) Can’t come up with a #4. Writers and interns are all meeting with their attorneys, filing sexual harassment lawsuits.

3) You can’t fast forward thru commercials.

2) Where did his microphone go? Oh, there it is.

And the number one reason I don’t want to see the David Letterman sex video….(I’m sure this would be so much funnier if you could hear the drum roll)….

...punch line will appear in tomorrows blog.