I just got home after seeing Paranormal Activity. I hadn’t planned on seeing it, but I made the mistake of commenting on someones blog. They were saying how amazing it was. I mentioned a movie with a $15,000 budget that rips off The Blair Witch Project couldn’t be that great. He quickly pointed out the great reviews it’s getting. And it is. He also said it’s nothing like Blair Witch.

I saw it, and as usual, I was disappointed. And yeah, it borrows PLENTY from Blair Witch (and Exorcist, The Entity, and a few other films). Really not worth your time.

I called in to check my Reader voice mail and heard about a party coming up. And another message asking me if I still have a dog and why I haven’t blogged about my dog. Wanna guess the gender of the person that left the message?

So instead of me trying to act like Roger Ebert, I’ll act like the girlie man I am when it comes to our dog.

I was with him at the park the other day. For some reason, this past month, he hasn’t been as playful with the other dogs. He always had three that he loved seeing. Now, he still goes up to them for a few minutes. But he doesn’t have these 15 minute wrestling sessions with ‘em. Which is nice on days we’ve groomed him and cringe at how dirty he’s getting (and the money we just spent on the bath). But we really want him to get his exercise.

Of course, once another dog owner starts playing fetch, he’s all about chasing the dog, that’s chasing the ball. The times I bring a tennis ball, he wants nothing to do with it.

He’ll do the same thing with sticks he finds. He sniffs them and moves on. But if another dog starts chewing on it, he’ll immediately take it out of their mouth. Or he’ll try, as the two dogs struggle. I turn into an old Jewish mother, wondering if they’ll get splinters in their mouths. And if one dog takes it and starts running, with a few mutts following…I wanna scream “You’re gonna poke your eye out!”

I wanted to poke a guys eye out the other day.

He has a dog named Sunny, that looks like a bigger version of my dog. When I first met him he was with a really nice lady that kind of had a hippie vibe. We talked for a while, and her husband commented on my shirt. It was for a charity I volunteer with and he thanked me, since they had helped out his family at one time.

I saw her again with Sunny a month later, and she remembered me. Our dogs played briefly before she took off.

This time, she was nowhere around. And the bald dude brought his daughter. As the dogs were all running around and playing, she got into the mix. And my dog tends to chase children. Most of them laugh, because he’s only 7 pounds when he’s soaking wet. But some kids get scared. Their parents always say “What are you afraid of? It’s a tiny dog.” And I hate hearing that. I can understand them being afraid of anything that’s chasing them (on a side note: did you hear about the apartment complex that has a cobra on the loose? I hope someone gets arrested for that).

Maybe it’s my stepdad being a letter carrier. I understand all dogs can bite, not just pit bulls and Dobermans.

So I grab my dog, or call him over, when he starts to chase. But I didn’t have time, and this little girl clutched her dads leg. He was wearing some goofy Chopper sweatshirt and said “I’m gonna kick the crap out of this dog.”

I went over, got him, and apologized.

Cotton went over and played with some other dogs, and everything seemed to be going okay. Then that little girl went over to my dog and started playing with him. My dog was loving it. And she started doing this move, kind of like a cobra, with her hand. She’d poke towards his face, then move her hand back quickly. I watched as she did this four or five times, before my dog started trying to nip at her hands as she did it. She then took off running, and my dog followed, barking ferociously (as ferociously as a tiny Maltese can). The father than started screaming at my dog, and jumping all around. He again said he was going to kick it.

I wanted to say “If you kick it, I’ll kick your ass.” But there were children around. And I had no doubt that he could probably kick my ass.

I was trying to decide if he had a point or not. As we looked at each other, I said “I’ll put his leash on. But dude, your daughter was playing with him. So when she ran, he chased her.” He barked at me “That dog has been after my daughter all day! If I see him near her again, I’ll kick him across the grass.”

As I’m putting the leash on, I’m trying to decide my next move.

I say nothing, letting cooler heads prevail.

I had a conversation with a few of the people I’ve gotten to know at the park. My dog resting at my feet. And I watched as he walked across the grass. I so wanted his dog to chase someone, so I could run over and say “Can I kick the $%*t out of your dog for chasing them?!” But his two white poodles just cutely scampered along.

Then I hoped one of them would go poo. He was surely not the type that would clean up after them. And this is a park. Children play here. Homeless sleep here. It’s no place for a pets poo.

The dogs never went.

So I went home.