Various Authors 8:30 a.m., April 22
- Community Blog
- Daily Crasher
Lawn Mower Man
Sometimes I'll read a weird story in the paper, and I'll try to remember it for a future blog. I end up forgetting about 'em, and they sometimes end up in the News of the Weird.
A few weeks back, in some part of the U.S., a man was arrested for shooting his lawnmower. It stopped working. And, he did what, well, anyone would do when that happens. He started firing bullets into it.
Now me, I would've taken a different approach. I would've went to town on it with the weed wacker.
But I digress.
The man was arrested, and started screaming at the cops "I can shot my own lawn mower!" Apparently, you can't. When you live in a residential area, there are laws about firing guns.
Maybe it's different if you're Elvis, and it's at your TV set. Maybe Elvis just got out of it with all his police badges, I dunno.
My parents live next door to people that like to fire guns into the canyon. When my stepbrother was visiting, he called the cops on them. The sheriff didn't do anything, since the guy was a friend of his. They were a bit peeved at my folks. And a few days later, they were shooting again. At least it wasn't at them, or their cars. They said they wanted to kill the animals out there in the canyon.
All this reminded me of a guy named Kevin I used to work with in radio. We did a bit on Mother's Day, where we called and confessed something to our mom. His was that as a teenager, she once wouldn't let him go play football with his friends until he cut the grass. He was so mad, he hit the mower with a shovel a few times. When he went to start it, it wouldn't. She then said, "Oh, okay. Go play football then." He thought "That worked better than it should've." And, it got better. His dad decided to buy a riding mower. So from then on, he actually looked forward to mowing the grass.
When Kevin admitted this to his mom, there was a stunned silence, as I was laughing in the background. She said, "Well...you owe us $450!"