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- Daily Crasher
The S*&% List
A recent list of the worst songwriters of all-time, and why lists can never get it right.
Why are lists so poorly done? Always. The top 100 boxers of all-time, when it came out recently, was perhaps the only list that got it right.
Movie lists can generally do a decent job. When AFI does the best comedies, or the 100 best of all-time, it surprises me that it's not all Citizen Kane and High Noon (both good) films, but they throw in stuff as contemporary as The 6th Sense and Fargo (both excellent).
Music lists, have never, ever, gotten anything right. When you see the top guitarists of all time. Most agree that Hendrix, Clapton, Van Halen, and the others should be on it. But, you'll see some goofy name at #8, and you think he shouldn't be on the list of the 1,000 greatest guitarists.
The most recently list, was in Blender magazine. It had the 10 worst songwriters. Great idea for a list, I thought. Now, Sting at #1, was just plain bizarre. Sure, they gave good examples of his pretensious stuff, and silly rhymes. But, they forgot an awful lot of great songs he's written.
What really got me (no Kinks ref. intended), was seeing Jim Morrison at #10. They mention the 10 minute Oedipal song The End (which, was considered such a great epic tune, that Copolla used to start Apocolypse Now).
I once talked to the singer of The Band (Robbie Robertson), who also hated that song, and said Morrison was a terrible poet.
Well, I defend Morrison, because The Doors are my all-time favorite band. But, I'd prefer to take this time to say how insane Blender is for deciding to pick Morrison (who many critics consider one of rocks greatest songwriters; after all, the cat has a degree from UCLA; not many rockers can say that). But, if you are gonig to choose him, at least pick some of the lyrics that even fans like me agree are horrible.
From LA WOMAN: I see your hair is burning/hills are filled with fire/if they say I never loved you/You know they are a liar.
(sure, it rhymes, but any English teacher would cringe).
From the same album (the Doors last), on Riders on the Storm: There's a killer on the road/His brain is squirming like a toad.
Come on, Blender. Next time you do a list, find horrible lyrics. They're out there.
One I always thought should've been written by Morrison, but was written by America, on the song Ventura Highway: Seasons change with no dispair/alligator lizards in the air.
Or, from their Horse with No Name, comes the great lines: The heat was hot (as oppose to the heat being cold, I guess). And, there's the line: There were rocks and plants, and snakes and things.
Yep. That's what I always seen in the desert. THINGS.