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Sometime around Halloween, a school in the Poway district had a story come out about a student that wore a ghost costume to school that his aunt made decades earlier and had been in the family for years. When a teacher in one of his early classes said it looked like a KKK outfit, and that he shouldn't wear the hood, he took it off. At lunch, his friends encouraged him to put it back on. He was then called into the principals office, and suspended for a few days.

The parents were furious, calling talk shows; and it became a big deal.

Over the weekend, I read about cheerleaders in San Joaquin County, that are fighting a suspension for writing a message on their underwear, and flashing it to the crowd (their coach told them not to do the choreographed routine). They bent over and did it anyway, showing "Indians No. 1".

Here's what I'd like to ask the parents, that stand behind their cheerleading children. What if someone in the stands had taken a picture, there was partial nudity, and plastered it all over the internet? Would they be upset and claim their child is under 18, and yadda yadda yadda.

What happened to parents that supported what teachers and principals said? Or parents that had principles?

I remember as a kid, if we did something our teacher said not to, we got spanked. If our parents agreed with us and not the teacher, they would tell us that, but would say "In their classroom, go by their rules."

My friends, and some family, that now teach...always tell of parents that come up and complain of kids failing classes, and they always fight for their kids, when the child gets into trouble.

Parents need to come to their senses, and stop suing schools. Stop complaining to teachers.

Try parenting.

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Comments
12

Duck Josh! You're going to get flammed now.

Nov. 19, 2007

As both a parent and a teacher I must say that one of the most pitiful things I see is the way parents obey their children. Parents stand around and wonder why children are a mess when they are the ones who have done the messing. "Where parents do too much for their children, the children will not do much for themselves." Elbert Hubbard

Nov. 19, 2007

I recently broke up with a single mom I was dating. She has a 12 year old son that I feel she spoils rotten. She doesn’t earn that much money and she has not been successful collecting child support. But she’ll buy the kid everything he wants, even when he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t wear his helmet when riding his bike or skateboard. He forgets things all the time, like the keys to the house. So he breaks in and messes up the screen. His bike has been stolen because he forgot to lock it. She’s buys him another one, a more expensive one then it gets stolen. He doesn’t get his homework done, he gets poor grades. He never reads a book or newspaper story. All he wants to do is play video games, watch crap T.V shows, ride his skateboard and eat junk food. He won’t eat a normal meal, but he’ll sneak out and spend his allowance on McDonald’s. The list goes on and on, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I could never had been in that relationship with a parent that doesn’t have a clue. That kid will be living with her when he’s 30. I will probably never date a single mother again after that experience.

Nov. 19, 2007

Don't let that experience sour you on single moms. Lord knows there are plenty of 2 parent households that cater to their kids because they fear their kids won't like them. Actually, I don't really believe that as much as I think that overall people have become incredibly lazy and self-absorbed. Parenting takes a lot out of you and a large number of adults just aren't willing to put in that kind of time and energy into their kids. They take the easy way out which is just what you described, she throws money at him. What a drag for him! How awful that must feel to not feel like you matter to your parents. Kids see through that crap, which is why they act out like that boy does. He will get her attention one way or another.

Nov. 19, 2007

Josh, with all these comments, I think you're on to a story for The Reader....

Nov. 20, 2007

In my early 20s, I went out with a woman that had a 12 year old kid. So, it was our third date, and she said something along the lines of "How about I make you dinner, instead of you taking me to dinner?" How could I refuse that? Well, it ended up being her ordering pizza, since her son was there, and she told me "That's all he'll eat." I didn't mind. I love pizza. I just remember my parents MAKING us eat our veggies. Anyway, we had two major fights that night, that led to us never seeing each other again. The first, was her telling me he was going to have the laser surgery on his eyes. I asked if he was too young for that. She said the doctor said he would need it again in 10 years, when his eyes change (she also, didn't have much money). But, she said he didn't like being called "four eyes" at school. I told her that's part of growing up. And, he got four F's on his report card. Maybe an incentive for getting better grades, would be that. Also....

Nov. 20, 2007

....she went to put him to bed. She came downstairs laughing, and said "He asked if you were spending the night." (and that point, I had assumed I wasn't; after all, it was only our third date). I said, "How did you respond to that?" She replied, "I told him you were, but that we weren't going to do anything in bed." I said, "What?! That's how you talk with your child? That's totally inappropriate." She then went off, on how I've been criticizing her parenting all night (which I wasn't...I just brought up a few things, as I think any adult should, when they witness something they don't think is right and a kid is involved). Needless to say, I didn't spend the night. And we didn't do anything.

Nov. 20, 2007

Sounds like another self-absorbed adult, more concerned with her love life than the welfare of her child. Exposing her child to adult situations and conversations that are entirely inappropriate. I have to say that those kind of situations are definetely more common in single parent households than 2 parent households. But, again as a teacher to young children, my students (who mostly come from 2 parent households) share stories of what they watch on TV and at the movie theatres that is completely inappropriate. Not to mention about the Uncle's or older brother's jailtime. Adults need to censor themselves around children, but again that would take time and energy that they just aren't willing to give. Adults like to put the honesty spin on their decisions about what their kids are exposed to. They use this logic--- I want to be honest with my kids so they know what the real world is all about. What an ignorant point of view!

Nov. 20, 2007

And as a teacher, I guarantee, if you were to tell these parents, "Your child told me they saw Hellraiser III last night. Is that an approrpriate movie for a kid?" It would merely be YOU that got in trouble with your principal. At least, that's what's happened with my stepbrother, when he gives parents "advice". (I used Hellraiser III, because I remember years ago, seeing 4 year olds coming out of that movie with their parents). My stepbrother had parents telling him that their son failed because he was black, and that he must be a bigot. When my stepbrother said 75% of his class is black and they are passing. He also said, "You didn't do anything when I called you two months ago and said your kid would fail." Oh...they didn't like hearing that, and went to the principal.

Nov. 20, 2007

I was giving your story some more thought and why in the world did she already have you meeting her kid after 2 dates? Or had you met him even sooner than that? Red flag for all you dating adults out there, when the person you are dating decides to have you interact with their child so early on in your relationship, beware of their judgement. I have been through a separation and I did not introduce anyone to my children, in fact I didn't even allow them to come to my house at all, whether my kids were there or not. I met them wherever we were going or at his house. Never at my house!

Nov. 20, 2007

You are right, the teacher deal is definetely touch and go. It is public education so we can not interject our thoughts and feelings as often as perhaps a private school teacher can. Although maybe their hands are tied as well. When the students share their stories with me I let them know that they should be in bed when that particular show comes on or that the movie they saw is not okay for them to watch or their parents shouldn't be talking about that in front of them. So far I haven't had any negative consequences professionally from my comments. Also, when my students start talking and I can see where they are headed, I cut them off because I don't want the other students in my class exposed to anything inappropriate. I can not control what goes on at home but I can in my classroom.

Nov. 20, 2007

All very good points. Regarding meeting the child, I had met the kid previously. But, I agree, that it shouldn't be until you are in a long term relationship, that they meet your kids. And, I used that example when I argued for one hour straight with a date I took to see the movie Sideways. She hated it merely because the guys in it were "losers". I said "Well, what about the woman?" She said, "The women did nothing wrong." I said, "Sandra Oh's character brought a guy home, slept with him on the first night and...smoked pot with him, while her child slept in the other room. Then, let that guy pick the kid up and put the child back to bed. If that isn't bad parenting/decision making, I don't know what is." She agreed, but it's odd that I had to point that out. She was just seeing two men that were "cheating" on the screen, and it blinded her to everything else.

Nov. 20, 2007

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